Relationships  Discussion Forum

u will be shocked to hear this..
u knwo all this while i was away from board i was in problem...u can say shocked...
u hv heard always abotu my sil...how we get along with wach other n all...
u know on friday..evenig..my sil called me...i am telling u all exact conversation btwn me n her...
she called up to tell me that she n her husband had gone to see some property n it seems they liked one...she said :
my husband liked one flat it is 1bhk...n 600 sqft (this words of her pinched me) i said but 600 sqft flat will be enough for all of us?
she said: y not in bedroom we both will sleep and in hall erst all will manage..(mark her sentence there is no mention of me n my husband..still i asked her what about us? )
she said: i am telling u this is the only golden oppurtunity for u n ur husband to stay back..when we are about to leave u n ur husband say that sorry we are not coming with u ..n we want to stay here ..(which is a house on rent) as we cant live in hall...
by this time i was completely cold n my bp shot up..still i ddnt lose my temper n asked her ..what about kitchen ? cant we convert the kitchen n bedroom for us n a small kitchen in hall ...she said: ccccchhhhhheeeeee that will spoil my houses interior ...its better u stay here...
i was shocked....
i told my husband all this ...luckily he was free ..weekend...
he said let er talk whatever she wants to talk .....let her say whatever she wants to say...u keep ur mouth shut..coz first of all they cant afford a house ..max earning is of my husbands...which too goes staringht in my mils hands...
he is saying she must hv inquired about some house...n loan..n some marketing fellow must hv showd her stars..n she is talking non sense...
n i know my huband n his bro..all are mama' s boys...thye will never leave her..nor my mil will never let them seperate...my mil is very very storn g... u dont knwo her..she always tell s her 4 sons not to leave each other no matter what..?
its jsut impossible..my mil very very smart ...first of al she wont go with her ...then she cant lwave me...
another ..she wont let any 1 son of her live seprate from her...thats impossible...

i am not about scared of my sil' s plans..or insecrure ...coz i know it wont happen..
but look at my sil?
i am the one who saved her couple of times from her husband..whn the entier family ddtn even bother to stop the fight ...n helped her so much ...whn she was unwell i did wall the work without any complkain...
she turned out to be so mean? i am shocked...
i hv lwarnt one thing from this..at ur in laws there is no one of urs...
any comments....
n see her brain she wants me to break the family...so that entire blame comes on my head that i was the one to break the family not her...
n do u think she will keep every1 with her no way....impossible...she has told me this many times b4...
any comments Ritika replied. Hi gg,

I can see that you are very upset...but I' m a bit confused about the reason.

Is it because your SIL wants to stay separately? Or is it because she expects you and your hubby to pitch in to pay for her house?

She might not be happy in a joint family and with a baby on the way, it will be very crowded in your house.

You yourself told us that she had told you earlier that she wants to move out...

Unless your SIL or BIL is expecting any money from you for their house, I honestly don' t see why you are so angry with them...

You can' t (and should not) force others to live and suffer in that household if they are not happy.

As for your MIL, I told you in my last message, her dream of 15+ people always staying together is never going to materialize. Sooner or later, people WILL break free from her yoke.

She might want to control others, but others might not want to be controlled forever.

It is HER idea that ALL of you should stay together. Isnt it?? So why perpetuate it..let HER do the talking or pushing.

Why are YOU fighting for her?? If she has a problem, she' ll come out with it. Let your MIL and SIL fight this one out. Don' t get into this. You' ll needlessly spoil yr relationship with yr SIL and BIL.

gg replied. i too was feeling low all this while coz my sil was the only one who brought change in my life...i am ok now...i just wanted to tell all of u about his...i was just waiting to come back to normal...my friend had told me once that be ware of this babe..coz in her life it was her elder sil who had made their life miserable...
let her pin up hopes....i hv decided one thing i will keep my mouth shut n behave normally with her..jsut as u said ..she is thinking that she is smarter than all...let her be under that impression..there is one dirty saying...cunning crow at the end of the day ends up sitting on s**t without realising what he is sitting on....i know one thing ...my god is there with me....whne mrrd...i went thru all this i never thought my sil will come n change things for me...same way u never know what will happen 2mrw..let us keep our heart n mind clean thats it ..u can survive in this world alone..not a big deal...lets see in store fir me..!anyways u all are there to share my probs... Dd replied. Hi,

I myself is feeling very low today so i didnot replied to u an hour back when i read it. Now i will be leaving for a meeting in half an hour so thought to write to u.
I was also wondering since 2-3 days about your absence was waiting for u since morning.
As for your sil' s behaviuor i am not very surprised a s i have seen many people like that. Many times on this massage board also such charecters have appeared. I know it hurts bcs you do so much for them & they behave with u badly. But as many of our friend on this board has said before don' t expect anything from il' s,sil' s, co-sil' s etc. that is the only advice i ahve for u. and also stop doing tthings for them or going overboard in your relations with them. I have similar relations with my co-sil(devrani). I don' t neglect her but i talk to her occasionally & gift her things once or twice in year like diwali & sometimes on birthday or aniversary. let her buy 1 bhk if she can & go there to stay alone bcs that will open doors for u also to find your own place.
also why u r worried about she will make u scapegoat? bcs u also know that your mil will never move in with her even if she manages to convince her husband to buy the place. as with her your mil will ahve to do the work & also it will be her house so she will dominate them & your mil will never except that.
So instead of getting hurt. be happy about it & also show to her that u r happy for her. that way she will get the massage that she can not hurt u.
take care.
love
Dd