Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear all,

I seriously hope someone could advice me with my problem. I' m 30 yrs old and I got married 7 months back. My problem is this, I' m only child of a single mother who is 60 yrs old. My monther likes to control me in everything eg. my dressing, my friends, and seldom allows me to meet my friends or anyone. If I come home late even due to work load she will scold me and irritate me by calling me every half and hour utill I reach home. Once I come back. she will blame me for not leaving office early, resign from that company etc. etc. I was tolarating this all this while because I know she is a single mother and she is old,but in me I' m very badly hurt.

I seldom do cooking or housework at home. Since only two of us there will be less work to do and my mother does all the cooking. Whenever I try to cook (new receipe) my mother would tell me that I' m wasting all her spices and products and will never appreciate the outcome. Because of all this I never cook.

After my marriage I started cooking and at my inlaws family they really appreciates and my husband encourages me to cook, he would give me frank comment on the outcome. I' ll also do some houseworks like washing utensils etc.

Sometimes my mother goes to my inlaws hse during weekends etc. to visit me, when my inlaws tell her I can cook well she would tell I never cook or do hse work. I' ve told my mum that I don' t like her complaining all this things to my inlaws but she never seem to change. The other day I was wearing body fit T-shirt to go for a party and my mother happen to be there she also scolded me for wearing such cloths. I was mad and just to please her I went and change to something else. My mother went and complaint this to my inlaws. She is telling them I' m listening to her and she is telling for my own good...etc etc.

I' m getting very upset with this and I seriously don' t like what my mother doing. She is creating bad image on me at my inlaws hse. I feel like if my mother herself complaining and blaming me it won' t take so long for my inlaws family to do so.

Can someone help me and advice me with this. sonu replied. hi..

Must say that normally inlaws make ur life difficult but in ur case its ur own mother.
U will have to sit down with her and tell her that look now u are married and gone so its not her job to decide and tell u what u should wear, where u should go and how u shuld live your life.
Thing is that if ur mum tells to much to ur inlaws they may start believing it and behaving funny with u so its best to put a stop to it before it all starts and u have double headache.
I understand that ur mum is a widow and has no one but she cannot dependant on u
I had the same problem my mum is a widow and she used to depend on my for everything but i put my foot down now and she has learnt to do things herself which is a good thing.
If ur mum still does not understand threaten her and tell her u dont want nothing to do with her and dont come to ur house...im sure she will listen then
I knows its hard and not nice to tell ur own mum that but sometimes u have to tell elders as they are not always right.

Good luck
sonu