Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi...

Ours is a love marriage. Have 10 months old lovely daughter. My MIL never takes care of my daughter. And my FIL and BIL also keeps distance from her. My husband says nothing like this...or this is their nature...don't bother about it. But how can I believe while people outside loves to talk with or play with my little daughter and people of my home don't like or just see her as outsider's child? She ( MIL ) says I don't like to play with children!!! I feel surprize because normal indian Dadis like her grandson/daughter more than her own son. Due to this I have to stay at my mummy's home. Me and my husband stays together only on sunday and on that day too she creates situation which disturbs me. I'm also worried about my daughter who is also living with her father only on sunday even staying in same city. My MIL differnciate between me and my BIL and also between my husband and my BIL. She always take care of my BIL...but never take care of me, my husband or my daughter. I hate her. She have a good health can't take care and my mummy having many physical problem taking care of 10 months old whole day.How can I tackle this educated Lalita Pawar?

Sejal sarika replied. Hi Sejal,
I agree with 'friend'. She's right, u r lucky that ur in-laws dont interfere in matters regarding ur baby. Its true, u dont know how in-laws can be. They think that their son's children r their own property and they can do whatever they want. They want to bring up their grandchildren in their own manner without letting the kids own mom a chance. So think urself a lucky lady and please dont stay away from ur husband. Don't go to ur mom's place everytime. Go once in a while. But be with ur husband more. And be sure that he takes care of ur daughter like u do. All the best. friend replied. hi,
Please don't feel bad about ur inlaws not taking an interest. trust me.it's the best thing. over affectionate grandparents are suffocating to say the least. my inlaws were with me when my son was born and their over concern for the baby caused such a lot of problems. my mil would never keep the baby down. it only spoils the kid. moreover the paternal grandparents always have the feeling that the kid belongs to them. so if they get too affectionate they will start bypassing u in many things concerning the child. but ur parents no matter how much they love the baby they will never undermine ur authority. too much interference will never help. the right to take decisions concerning ur child belongs to u. so u should be happy that ur mil is not interfering. maybe once the baby starts to speak they might start opening up a lot. i mean some people just don't know how to play with children. i have never been around young kids a lot. so i just did not know how to play with my son. now he is bigger(2 1/2) i can relate to him better. so i guess it will be just a matter of time till ur daughter wins them over. maybe u and ur husband should think of moving out. ur daughter needs to know her father more than she needs to know her grandparents. always remember the baby needs her mom and dad more than she needs her grandparents.these are the most precious years of ur baby's life. enjoy it. don't spoil it by holding grudge against ur inlaws and staying away from ur husband. remember ur mil does not lose anything if u stay away. ur relation with ur husband will be spoilt. also most men given a chance don't want anything to do with babies. so if u do not give him an opportunity to help u with the baby he is just going to escape from his responsibility. always remember bringing up ur child is ur (mom and dad) responsibility. not ur parents's or his parents's.