Relationships  Discussion Forum

my fil is the most unique man i guess i have come across in my life . He hates it when my husband talks to me . he keeps telling him at work that i am bad wife and i am not worth him and all that stuff.he is too rich a man and my husband is working wiht him.our was a love marriage.My husband has to face a lot of shit whne he is wiht him through out the day.So much so today he even told my husband choose ur wife or choose me . he is trying to convince him to divorce me
my husband comes back and tells me evry thing
fil has been behaving very badly wiht me . he has come to my room at 1 in the night and asked me which dance bars do i go to ?? it is so emabarassing and he gives verabal dirty abuses in hindi.
i am sick of him i dont even respect him . he insists that after whatever he says i should go and wish him nicley
he keeps abusing my parents also
he keeps blaming me to have snatched his son away from him . where as i meet my hubby at 10 in the night after which we go out wiht friends to relax and come back by 1130 or so.
he doenst want my hubby to take me out and expects that he is only a work machine
and interfers a lot wiht his decisions he doensnt let my husband take any decisions
god knows when will all this go
he doesnt wnat us to leave home and go also
we have tried that also left the house for 4 months and survived outside both of us are working and highly qualified.but he got us back ni his house saying that we cant leave wiht out u guys and that ppl in the society are asking questions. they have a big name in the market and they feel ashamed to say that thier kids are on their own.they have huge social cirlces but are hypocrites deep down .
earlier i used to feel bad now i dont care!!!
but dont u think he is a wierd or is this normal behaviour that he is thinking that i am snatching his son
do all fathers get it
and why am i being blamed for every thing my husband does whethere it is smoking ro drinking that i am ot having the capability to stop him
i mbeleive in individuality. and my husband also deosnt like me stopping him,and he is of that mature if u try to stop him hell do more than that
is there any solution??? friend replied. Hi no answers,
I feel sorry abt ur situation. But its all in ur hands. From ur mail it seems ur husband is supportive of u. So talk to ur husband and tell him to stand on his feet and be firm once and for all. Tell him to correct his father whenever he is wrong, why does he just keep quiet when ur fil shouts/insults u. He as a husband shd support u whenever ur fil is wrong. Tell him firmly but lovingly.
U have said that u'll had stayed separately for 4 months but returned to ur fil because of society. U shd not have returned back that time. Or even if u did return, u should have put the condition to ur fil that u will return only if he (fil) changes his manners. Now theres only one thing u can do. Talk to ur fil directly in the presence of ur husband (discuss abt all this with ur husband first) and tell ur fil that u both r once again leaving home and staying separately if he doesnt change his habits and this time u both wont come back. Tell him that if he does not want u both to stay separately then he has to stop torturing u. U have not done anything wrong and tell him firmly that u wont take anymore of it. It has crossed ur limits now and u r not at fault. If ur husband smokes or drinks, he did that before marriage too (assuming that). So tell fil that if he, being a father, could not stop his son from that, how can he expect u to change him. So no-answers, now u have to take matters in ur hand and show ur fil that u wont take any more of these things from ur fil. If he still doesnt listen, then its better u both stay seperately. Hope I could give u some good advice. Let me know if it helped. Write if u want any more help/info.