Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

well im quite a regular reader of this board and appreciate the work all DIL are doingfor each other.

well my problem is not exactly IN-laws that much...but SIL.she is one pain with which i have to live throughout life.
Frankly speaking i dont like her a bit.whatever she has done with me initial years of marriage i can never forget in life.she is my hubby elder sister but she behaves as if she is younger than me also.Very immature,childish..and foolish.
Jealousy is in her heart and mind to the core.Inspite being married in a wealthy house with decent people(i dont know them very well but whatever i have observed)she still cribbs about every damn thing on earth to my in laws.this worries my in laws.
she is soo jealous of me.Believe me..sometimes even my MIL appreaciates me on certain things...so she gets so jealous that why her mom in appreciating me.why cant she accept that im as much as part of family now.im not an outsider.
She is married now,gone to a different house...she is no more a part of this house(i mean hope u girls understand)every time she interferes in our house matter.Disscusses rot about her sasuaral to my MIL.i have overheard my MIL talking to her.i dont understand y she is so cunning.

My hubby dosent talk much with her on phone only on some special occasions,firstly because he is busy..secondly she sometimes treats him like a stupid person.One day my MIL told me and hubby that SIL is very unhappy because my hubby dosent talk with her.He gave some reasons and we shut the topic.
The problem is whenever she will talk to him she will either ask about when we are planning baby or give some stupid advises. I mean she feels we are young couple so very much interested in our sexual life...thats what both of us dont like.Sometimes she starts giving silly advises to my hubby...we dont need her advises and UPDESH.she behaves like a DADIAMMA type women.she thinks she is very intelligent and smart and everyone is foolish.My MIL dosent understand this.even if she does she cannot explain her daughter all this.
there have been so many instances..and because of that i have started hating her to the core.Once my in-laws knock off...i will not even let her come to house.
I feel so guilty sometimes that im soo bad and think all this but what to do.My SIL is a complete nut... she will never ever improve herself.she is amongst those women who are always jealous...wants to be the best...gain importance..and insult bhabhis and other SIL.

Tell me how should i explain my hubby all this.he still loves his sister.if i tell him how much i hate her he will get hurt.i want a solution that either she realizes that she is wrong also or we should never talk to her..please help xyz replied. thanks for replying.ya i agree sometimes that i myself have got a little venom for my SIL which i guess i should remove.but what comments and taunts she said to me in initial days i cannot forget.thats y i get upset.she is ok with me now but sometimes gets weird.i will maintain a distance from her.

Ritika replied. Let me get this straight.

Your hubby is nice to you and supports you. Your MIL is also nice to you often.

Your SIL is married so you dont have to meet her every day.

I think that' s a good thing...isnt that so?

Think again on what you want to tell your husband and what you are expecting him to do...because of your personal animosity towards yr SIL, you want him to stop talking to his sister (not gonna happen btw), SIL to realize that she is wrong (not gonna happen again since you cannot control other people' s behavior) etc.

Why don' t you just control your own actions..don' t talk to this lady except very formally. If she says anything like a dadiamma to you, laugh and make fun of it...say \" stop sounding like a dadi amma didi\" , or when she gives you suggestive advices, laugh and turn the tables on her by saying \" why don' t you tell us how you do it\" etc..if she pressures you about babies..smile and say that \" we' ll have it when WE are ready..since you want kids so much, why don' t you have another one? When are you planning yr next one?\" and so on...

Basically every time she says something to you, just laugh and make fun of it..or turn the tables and ask her the very same questions (with a big smile) that she is asking you...

Incidentally, I don' t like yr thinking that she is \" no more a part of this house\" . This thought is the basis of so much of this girl boy differentiation in our Indian society..its not even funny.

Would you have said that if it was a BIL who had gotten married? and behaved like a dadaji to you?

What does it matter if your MIL tells her stuff? All this is not affecting you na...just leave them if you can' t bear them talking...

What does it matter if she wants yr hubby to talk to her..he is a big boy and can take care of himself...if he is not upset why are you fretting so much.

Sweety replied. Hi all,
i m recently married & my husband is working abroad & i m in position that my hubby cannot take me & now even i m sufferring with lots of issues frm my MIL sonu replied. hi..

Sorry to hear about ur problem...U lucky u just got sil to deal with i got mil and sil...lol....it will be hard to make ur sil realise what she is doing as they always think they are right. And plus she is ur mil daughter so no matter what ur mil will always believe her over u...Trust me i been thru it. Best thing is to not to come in contact with, let ur mil and sil get on with their gossiping and u just go out or go in another room when she comes. What u dont know wont hurt u but the more u know the more upset u will get.
My mil tells my sil everything about me ect and i told my husband to stop telling them my business so now they dont get to know. I never call my sil only on occassions and i am happier like that. I let the mil n sil get on with their gossiping. They obviously dont have anything else to do.
u try to be happy and concentrate on urself and ur husband