Relationships  Discussion Forum

In this modern world where woman and man are equally educated, equally earned , equally born and brought up why these differences? Why his domiantion over her? When she leaves her house after marriage why can't he leave?Why should she give him dowry and bear the marriage expenditures? He and she need marriage ,then why can't they share expenditure? Why his parents expect their prominance over her? Why should she serve them when her husband totally ignores her parents?Let him help his parents financially or physically and let her take care of her parents in the same way.Then there won't be any conflicts and unnecessary interferences from both sides.It's like business partners who act just partners in their business affairs and don't interfere with their families.Just like that here husband and wife are life partners and take care of their own families individually and don't interfere with each others family matters.I don't mind if it is a critisism or a complement from you guys.I take both equally.I want to mention what I feel in my mind whether it is right or wrong.Every body has the right to express what they feel inside about an issue.If we feel that justice is at stake we should defend.That is evryone's responsibility.Thanks for taking time to read my message. PRL replied. Hi Sumathi,
Nice to know that you are not with your ILS.Then only problem is your husband.Tell him that he is a grown-up and should not complain evertything to his sister or mom.He should have his own decisions hereafter.Now you are with him to discuss everything.Married life means it should be between husband and wife.Even if it is your ILS matters he has to discuss with you only.If no improtance is given to the wife then what is the meaning of married life?Show him movies based on husband and wife subjects and also learn some points which can really make him feel guilty.If you watch some of our Indian movies they really have very good ponits which are catchy and use them on him.Somehow change him and your ILS will automatically keep their distance.I tried my best to help you.Goodluck. PRL replied. Hi Sumathi,
I regret to know about your situation.It's not fair on your ILS.They are deceiving you.Pls go away from that family if you are in a joint family and ask your husband to come out and join you.Let him spend for his parents or let him give monthly this much for their livelihood and you also give some amount for your parents if necessary.He has no right on your earnings.Both of you share some fixed amount for your own family and expenditures.So divide both of your earnings equally in everything and don't let your ILS to interfere in your family matters.Be bold in saying things straight to them.Tell them that you only married to your husband and not all of them as he married only to you and not to your family members.Marriage is a bond between husband and wife only and no one else.If he wants his people he should not marry.As your husband is no way connected to your family people.Pls go away from that family and start a new family of your own and be free like a bird.Explain him that if you both will be with his parents then your family and your married life will be ruined by their interferences.Somehow explain it to him.In USA they leave their parents at the age of 18 being a bachelor and lives with his girl friend.They make fun of guys if they live with their parents after 18.Call them mama's boys.So if he doesn't care Pls.go away as he will not be worried about your marriage then why should you? He will definitely feel loneliness without your presence and will come to an agreemenet.Why should you lead a life of a slave? We are not born to be slaves on this earth after marriage.Tell him that now- a- days joint families are very rare and they are causing many problems in the husband and wife relationships.Ask him whether he doesn't want to lead a problemfree life? We women care much to save our marriages so these husbands are taking the advantage of our weakness and throwing us down the hill.Pls threaten him you don't want to live with his parents anymore and if he starts a seperate family then you will join him and go live with your parents.Ask if it is the same situation for him, does he tolerate?Can he come and live in your family like this and give all his earnings to his ILS?Since you are earning pls take a bold step.If you keep on caring your husband they will be hard as a rock.I am not asking you to end your mariage but let him also feel a little bit worried about his marriage.This is my advice to you Sumathi.Goodluck. PRL replied. Small correction in my previous message.I don't want to be that harsh & rude calling husbands as 'butchers'.Sorry about that.What I meant was even a lover (but not all)before marriage who was so nice and loving ,after becoming a husband is changing his attitude towards his wife and treating her so bad.I am not against men but in general most women are suffering marital problems and it is heartbreaking and pitiable to see and listen their troubles as they are facing in this world. PRL replied. Hi Pinky,

Thanks for agreeing with my point of view.Yes, most of the husbands demand services not only from their wives but also from her family members.Though slavary is ended in any part of the world then what is this wives slavary?Are we slaves of his family or what? If he and his family people serve us too then it will be balanced.It only shows the male domination in any part of the world .It has been millions of years since the life staretd on the earth and it's shame on men still they did not realize that they still not broadminded to treat women as their best half.Human life is not complete without man or woman.He is half and she is half.Both are equally needed for this Creation.So both are equally important and each other should respect each other.God created both male and female to keep the life on earth.He did not say that woman is inferior to man.Do male animals treat female animals lower or inferior?Then human beings being more intelligent than animals why is he so mean in treating women so cruelly?This trend should be changed forever.They should understand how woman is tortured in this modern world by man and his family.Generally speaking, if a man becomes a husband ,just after the marriage he is getting all the butcher qualities and becoming a tyrant and starts his torture towards her.Most of the men are like this anywhere in the world.I don't know why they feel superior to woman.In what way she is inferior? She is physically weaker than man.So what?Is there any rule like that? If a woman is equaqlly stornger like a man do anybody think that she will be liked by men? Men like women who are slim and beautiful.So god created women physically weak and beautiful to attract men.He is also so diplomatic to maintain the creation on earth.His only motive is maintaining the life on earth.He did not say that woman should be ruled by men and she is inferior.So men,don't think yourselves you are verymuch superior than woman and she sholud be a slave to you guys.Without a woman you are not a complete human.You are half part of the human and she is half.Mind that.Love her and be loved by her.If you torture her ,your life will be eqully ruined like hers.Respect her views and take respect from her. Newton's law applies to each and everything in this world.Equal and opposite reaction.So love and be loved by her.We all be born once on this beautiful earth and why spoil our precious lives with misundertandings ,conflicts,inferior seperations complexes and dominations why? Don't do sin and be questioned by god after you reach his abode.Be happy and make her happy. pinky replied. i guess in india today the educated working/non working lot of women have started feeling differently towards these issues. I agree with u totally on your point of view..husbands expect us to call up their parents if we are out of station everyday but they will not call up our parents everyday.. we are expected to serve their parents and they act like true son in laws and get service from our parents.. just talking about the different ways we are treated makes me feel irritated. why cant they also treat our parents the same way we treat theirs...