Relationships  Discussion Forum

i want to know one thing whoever wants to answer my mail.i think too much and so i was wondering by reading mails in these section-

WHY ARE WOMEN ALWAYS JEALOUS OF EACH OTHER

we all sometimes suffer from relationships..mostly MIL and SIL relationships.why is like that being women ourselves we get envious of other women.i have thought a lot about it but never got any answer.

mostly messages i read here are women facing problems either with MIL,SIL or some women or other.i am myself a lady and face problem with SIL and MIL.im a daughter,a daughter in law,a sister in law.Im still not a MIL.when i keep myself in all these position i always feel its the DIL which bears the most.and its the DIL specially in indian society which has to bear the most even if she puts her best efforts still somewhere something goes wrong.I DONT UNDERSTAND Y.

women being women themselves should understand how much we suffer,but instead of thinking for each other we women get jealous.

please girls im not pointing to anyone specific..im just passing a general statement.how should we remove jealousees from our minds.im not perfect...so i guess who can understand will advise me.how much ever i try,sometimes or the other wrong thinking or jealousy OR problems comes for other women in family....
Its strange that im asking women only how to remove jealousy.this forum is very supportive to each other.people usually who face problems themselves are able to give good advises to others.maybe someone can help me here.i have tried to analysis myself also and pray god to remove badness from me....but still some problems persists.what say?
Ritika replied. Why does DIL bear the most?

Because she is new to the family and is basically an outsider (forget abt the platitudes).

MIL has gotten more love from her son than her husband.

So MIL feels jealous that her son will now pay less attention to her.

And as Saheli said below, in a lot of the traditional households, the women have a very limited, heavily demarcated role. This in turn under utilizes their intelligence. So what else can they do except indulge in gossip and more gossip. If they had tons of more stuff to do that properly occupied their minds , I' m sure the lot of many of them would improve.

I sometimes even think its like ragging of a newcomer in a college. The students who are already there have already formed groups and a newcomer is fair prey to them.

It is a very unequal partnership. Saheli replied. ' Woman, thy name is jealousy!' - Shakespeare?

You point is true. But I would say, forget the \" why\" . Its good someone has realised the problem. Now get rid of it from your life. Those who have realised this problem and got rid of it, have solved good percent of related problems by just this simple thing.

And it applies to a wider area than we think. The need is to first recognize that we are feeling jealous. Once it is recognized, I know it is very easy to overcome!

It applied to comparing ourselves with other women in all respects. It even includes simple things like looking at what other women are wearing and commenting on it. It also includes being over-worried about \" what I am wearing and if it is better than hers\" .

I dont blame females for being jealous. I would infact, to a certain extent, blame men/society/culture for that. When they formed this culture, they gave a very limited area to women - say home cooking kids. By this, they underestimated the power of women, and need to let them invest their energies in wider areas.

Restricted to home-cooking-kids, it was obvious that they started the battle of power within themsleves.

Also, the women were/are expected to be perfect in their areas. Cooking, home, kids, getting-along with inlaws, beauty, jewelry .. these were limited areas .. and women were compared .. and the chosen for marriage! As if they were a thing! This comparison encouraged the battle for being-better and led to jealousy. (The quality of jealousy was already there, and these things ehnanced it!)

But this would apply to men as well, if the scene was reversed. Dont the hubbies compare themselves with Sali' s hubby? Or sister' s hubby? Or FIL? Or BIL? They do.
Just that that dont interact too much, they dont live together, so it doesnt come to surface.
Reverse the scene ... make huby go to wife' s place .. and there will be a message board like this for FIL+Son-in-law issues!

So lets forget the why' s and work on how' s. And forgive the ladies who are jealous. We will feel one-up, we will feel better, and feel those who are jealous are kiddish!

Good thought xxx ... I think this has given some good food-for-thought to us.