Relationships  Discussion Forum

Friends,

This is the first time am mailing to this site but I am a regular visitor of this site and find it informative. Probably this mail may be big but require help from U all. I lost my parents before my wedding and had nobody to help somehow I myself got married. I am basically IT profession and work for MNC's.Even though from very beginning I had problem with so called my husband I have been living with him from 2 years. Now I have baby she is around 14 months old.My hubby does not have parents too as me that was the reason for me to get married to him thinking he could understand my pain. I used to cry a lot he used to console ,sometimes acts crazy and used to hurt me from day one of wedding. AFter my baby was born there was no one to look after her so after my maternity leave one if us have to quit job as i was not ready to leave under her some maid. As I was earning more he quit his job.Now its a real problem for me he keeps fighting with me everyday and everytime and says he is doing all task what female is supposed to do. We have car loan ,home loan he was very sure he could not manage in his sal so he quit his job. In real sense even mangalasutra for wedding I got in my money he doesnt have a penny in his hand. After baby he is hurting me more and more. Really donno whether i need to leave him,leave my job and look after baby alone in my life as I dont have any body to support me. i am sure she will be grow alone with me with anyone. i have been quite thinking baby will be loosing dad love ,but the things are going beyong limit. if i quit my job the only way is to sell my house which my parents left for me. Almost everyday and even now while mailing am weeping.whenever we fight my baby will make blank face thats the worst part to see. I am alone in the world with nobody and noone with a small baby and not much of finance support too. donno what to do in life whether to leave him or till when to continue ,cant digest his words which kills me almost everyday.

PLeaseeeeee help me!! Thanks in advance DD replied. Dear S,

In some part of your story i ve seen that you ve a superiority complex, which should be avoided.


In one part you have said that you have a house loan, car loan etc. tell me if u ve ur ancesestor property then where is this (house) loan come from? anyway you try to find some day-boarding for your child and never ever argue with your husband if one of you is in angry mood then the other person should keep the calm. (Remember one thing both of you lives in a society where the working of husband is more important than working of wife, moreover he is living in your house I feel that he must be having some inferiority complex and some behaviour disorders)

- Discuss the problems with your husband: This way you can sort the things more easily without ving a fight, if at all any argument takes place try to find a solution, rather than arguing...

- Find what your husband wants: Try to read his feelings.. what he actually want from you.. and try of convince him that you are not working for your satisfaction but for the future of your baby..and if he want to join you dont put in between the salary issue mind one thing wheather u or ur husband is earning you both are earning for your home... As I had mentioned in some earlier queires that competition should be avoided in homes... as it can ruin the house and relations...

At last:
If this problem still continues try of consult some marriage consultant for better future for your child

Eddie replied. I would leave him and carry on with my job as I find babe sitter for my babe. anu replied. I can think of two options for you..find a home day care for your baby, make sure she is in right hand..all the parents who leave their baby in day care are not bad parents..i am sure your baby will understand when she grows up..after all we earn for them and for thier future.Or if you don't want to do that, quit your job let your hubby work..you may have some sacrifies to do right now..but it is ok..and it is temporary problem..when your baby grows little bit you can start going to work again.instead of fighting and spoiling your life every day..better to live happyly with what ever money comes inn..adjust with it..i know being a indian men , obiviously your husband will feel like that.