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Hi. I would be glad if someone helps me out in solving my problem. I am a 28 years old guy working as a software engineer in Canada. My parents are seriously in discussion of finishing off my marriage by next year and are searching a girl for me back home in India. But I am someone who has failed miserably in maintaining friendship with girls and had to face huge problems and punishments for things which were actually done by someone else. Even though those issues happened during my school life, it affected my education badly and deviated my life completely from the big goals I had. Even my parents lost hope and trust in me. I felt then itself that I am not suited for having any relationship with girls and decided to stay away from them as soon as I joined college. Even situation also favored me then, because the number of girls in my class was very negligible when compared to the guy's strength in both my colleges. I don’t know whether it's fortunate or unfortunate for me, but everything started working out for me well after that. I started enjoying my life and never ever worried or suffered for something which I didn’t do.
Even though I am working in a software company now, I maintain distance with girls and don’t talk with them unless it's really needed. I prefer to stay with guys and have fun with them rather spending time with a girl even in friendly manner. I purposefully changed my attitude and started doing things which girls don’t like so that I won't be disturbed by them and get in to trouble again. But now, I am under pressure thinking about what I am going to do if I get married because I don’t know how to talk or behave the way a girl like. My parents started searching girl for me when I turned 26, but I managed to push them for two years by saying some or the other reason. But now they are very serious and are asking me about my vacation visit so that they can at least finish off my engagement. For the past few months, I am not able to concentrate on my works and sleeps very rarely at night. I don’t know how I am going to manage after marriage when I have failed trying to maintain friendship with girls.
I am not saying that girls are bad because I have a sister back home. But when it comes to other girls, I have failed miserably and I feel that I will be safe if I stay alone rather than being in any relationship. But if I do that, I will have to hurt my parents and relatives a lot which I am not interested. I love my parents so much and have hurt them a lot for things I have not done as well. But if I marry a girl, I fear that my behavior will hurt and create problems for her as well. When I discuss about this with my friends, they says that I will change after marriage. But what if I don't? I know that some people must be thinking by now that I am mad. But I have gone through a very bad phase in my life when there was no one to support me and I am not able to forget them. Please help me. Banu replied. Hi Anish, Do not worry and always remember one thing your parents will always search a good girl for you who will understand you and adjust as per your needs so just go ahead and get ready for the new life. Nidhi replied. I think you won't know if you will be able to maintain this relation if you don't even try to do it. I think you should give it a try and see how everything works for you. Just thinking about it won't help. NN replied. See you are just afraid to talk to girls or have a relation with them because of your past but if you try making a fresh start then you will surely be able to make a good relation with your wife. Just keep making efforts. Anu replied. Hi Anish Ambujan,
So you have faced the problems when you are in school stage so that you need not to worry about in that age you do not know what is good and bad and later you have known every thing so no need to worry about the be polite to your partner then every thing will be solved. No Name replied. Hello Anish Ambujan,
So it was heavy problem for you because it will be create a problem for coming girl in your life.You need to solve the issue of your life.Because it is your life and you cannot skip marriage in your life. sulochana replied. it is very serious problem. yo should consult a psychiatrist.