Relationships  Discussion Forum

Name: raj
Subject: see a doc
Date: 2007-08-02
Although I dnot remember all details of your 2 long posts,I recollect that you have money to spend but no happiness with your hubby,and I feel this is going on fo rtoo long.He is having some insecurities of his own and you have frustrations of yours both of which are increasing tension betn both of you.
I feel its' high time you meet a marriage counsellor,or psychiatrist.You can ask him to go with you but it' s ok evenif he does not want ot go with you.Right now,you need plenty of help to sort out your own turmoil.Feeling hysterical,unable to control infront of child,feeling loss of purpose-all these point towards some form of depression and you need to face this positively by getting proper treatment for your stress.Going to a psychiatrist is not taboo any more thses days and think you are taking this step in the interest of your baby,family and future.
Your chronic stress has gotten in the way of normal reasoning,you are probably feeling loss of perspective too,please take this advice and see a good doc,right away.
In the meantime,dont make extra efforts to bond with your hubby as it may take toll on your mental health.Leave things as they are and only focus on getting your sadness,grief under control.
Please please go to doc right way.Do you live in bangalore?Do you have any family doc,who can give reference to psychatrist?Please reply asap.
Raj


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

priti replied. Yes, I really need a Doctor.And i boooked an appointment with a famous councellor. Always thinking about these thing though hubby is assuring he' ll not be biased to them anymore.but his actions again prove that he is biased. He has money to look after us but while we live simple life he think of providing his parents luxuries. Last week ,it was raining and we were on walk to a nearby theatre (I forced to take me) and while returning he was hesitating to call auto which it needs only 10Rs. I was cool and called auto and we reached home and he knew how hard if I wouldsnt have taken auto because it turned a bigg thunderstorm rain. But next day morning he was asking me suggestion about gifting his dad a CAR because he aasked for it. Whatever money my hubby has, same amount my fil has with him and he has no responsibilities left and all comforts we look after. Still, he want his money never to be drawn from bank but he want his son(who has started his life now) to buy a car for him for his prestige (he doesnt go anywhere ,thatsy my hubby hesitated these many days? ) u know one fact, raj,We didnt buy car because we r waiting for our trip so i suggested him not to buy for us....and the money we can invest in some plots etc...
Knowing my mentality not buying ourselves a car, what he expect me to answer on question \" what car shd we gift my dad\" ?????

That question lead to these all thoughts and thoughts never ends ...My hubby give all his earning to his dad and he only the one deposits on my hubby' s name...My hubby cant even take care of his own money...ok, if they r nice and caring for son..its ok, I appreciate their help. But, this is not case. My fil feel ' son has much money ,what if he give me one car' ? his mother ask him to buy another home for them in his sister' s town so that they want to live there when we r abroad...

They never think what about his duties towards his family?
I dont have inseurities about money because god give us and we can gain even if we spend what we have totaly for them. I' m ready t give this money if they assure me peace. But noway, they will be dissatisfied for their whole life because they love money than their son...this fact is unknown to my hubby.


I' ll just seek a doctor' s help because meditation is not at all working.I' m unable to concentrate on pranayama, meditation.

Anyway thanks raj, atleast sharing is little relieving. But , my hubby shd change ,not only myself. because a hubby who thinks twise to spend 10rs for wife & Child' s comfort can gift 5lakhs car to dad .This behaviour is annoying to any lady though she is mentally strong and fit .He give me money and ask me to spend if i want, because he know I wont spend. But, from his own hands, he cant spend for us easily.I dont find fault in this behaviour because if we care money then only we' ll have. BUT, what shd I say this split personality gifting duplex to mom and car to dad???????/
He still think he love me and care me lot.....
Ok, If I pour out all my agony its no wonder ppl think of me ' gone mad' but sorry, dear, I cant avoid from expressing myself because have hope somewhere I can get help.Knowing that \" I' m thinking over but there is no issue to worry about\" makes me feel better nad stay calm.