Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I have had a lot of issues with my MIL....she has hurt me with her words many a times.We stay in the US and call up my MIL almost twice a week ....and during each of those calls she has something -ve to say abt me or taunts me.
When I was pregnant ,my husband used to always support me and tell me that he understands that his mom should improve her ways.But once I had the baby everything has changed.....my hubby no longer cares abt my feelings.Says things like.....why would his mom purposely say things to hurt me?....what MOTIVE does she have to hurt me? He says that his mom does not think before speaking and that is where the problem is.Infact he thinks that I am the one who has the habit of MISUNDERSTANDING others and if a continue this habit then nobody should speak to me!!!
Now a days I feel like hurting myself to draw his attention and to get some sympathy......but when I do such a thing he scolds me and sometimes even laughs!.....I don't know what to do.....feeling very very depressed and lonely ....
Just wanted to share....
-Renu rach replied. When you mil calls isn't she calling you at YOUR home? If she doesn't have anything nice to say just hangup on her, she needs to learn that it is disrespectful to call someone else's home just to let out her anger. I'ts your phone, your house, your family! juhy replied. I too totaly agree with mita.i too had the same prob with both my in-laws.at first it was so hurting.then graduly i ignored it made my hubby happy,so now even he supports me.dont worry,now you also have a baby who looks upto you.so always be ahppy and cheerful. Mita replied. Dear Renu,

I face a similar problem and follow a simple logic - you cant control your MIL's behaviour but you can definitely control your own reaction to it. Whenever you get upset, remind yourself that you are hurting no one but your self. Is your MIL going to feel sorry for you and change her behaviour? Just ignore her remarks. I know its difficult but once you learn to control your emotions and dont let others behaviour affect you, you will find peace. And each time you think of hurting yourself, please remind yourself that there are people in this world - your child, your parents and friends who love you. So please dont do anything drastic. As far as your husband is concerned, try not to complain about his mother. Keep a pleasant environment at home and avoid getting into arguements all the time. You will notice the difference not only in him but in you, too.
Keep yourself occupied - make friends, read books, learn recipes or anything that interests you. Go for walks or do yoga at home. If you are happy, you will automatically keep your husband happy too!
Cheer up. There is much more in Life than worrying about negative remarks made by in -laws!

Mita