i have a problem...which is irritaing me too much.im tired of my MIL stupid old thinking and traditions
My MIL feels that a son is more important...not that she says daughter are not but she has that stupid feeling tht son name run family,they tk care of parents when they r old...etc like typical indian mantality.whenever i touch her feet on some pooja or ceremony she gives me blessing that i have a son.See...im not saying that she is wicked or ill-treating me but she is weird.And to my surprise my own SIL has 2 daughters.i understand that every parent likes there children to be well settled...happy but she is of a very orthodox mantality.i tried my best to explain her that nowdays boys and girls are same..if not physically but mentally and girls are progressing.
what irritates me is that just in case i have a girl as my first child not tht she will be dissapointed but she inside her heart will always wish that she should have a grandson.she loves me,cares for me..she is nice MIL but her nature is differnet.actually she remains sick also..
my problem might not seem big too u all,but its irritating me.im a mordern girl.it really dosent matter to me as well as my hubby what children we have,only thing is they should be healthy and fit...but staying with them somehow that irritation comes in my mind.u cant imagine when she says sometimes casually to me..\" girls have more expenses,mensuration problems,pregnency,etc\" she even said to me once\" bhagwan ne saari musibateeh aurat ko de di hai\" .i mean she should not self-pity she is a women.i dont.i know we girls have physical related issues but that dosent mean that we should just keep shut of exploitations.
i dont know how to change her thinking.my hubby says \" listen from one year and take out from other.she is getting old now.her times were different.just ignore.\"
please girls im very irritated with her.constant interference and trying to prove herself right in everything.how should i tackle.
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hi,
i have a problem...which is irritaing me too much.im tired of my MIL stupid old thinking and traditions
My MIL feels that a son is more important...not that she says daughter are not but she has that stupid feeling tht son name run family,they tk care of parents when they r old...etc like typical indian mantality.whenever i touch her feet on some pooja or ceremony she gives me blessing that i have a son.See...im not saying that she is wicked or ill-treating me but she is weird.And to my surprise my own SIL has 2 daughters.i understand that every parent likes there children to be well settled...happy but she is of a very orthodox mantality.i tried my best to explain her that nowdays boys and girls are same..if not physically but mentally and girls are progressing.
what irritates me is that just in case i have a girl as my first child not tht she will be dissapointed but she inside her heart will always wish that she should have a grandson.she loves me,cares for me..she is nice MIL but her nature is differnet.actually she remains sick also..
my problem might not seem big too u all,but its irritating me.im a mordern girl.it really dosent matter to me as well as my hubby what children we have,only thing is they should be healthy and fit...but staying with them somehow that irritation comes in my mind.u cant imagine when she says sometimes casually to me..\" girls have more expenses,mensuration problems,pregnency,etc\" she even said to me once\" bhagwan ne saari musibateeh aurat ko de di hai\" .i mean she should not self-pity she is a women.i dont.i know we girls have physical related issues but that dosent mean that we should just keep shut of exploitations.
i dont know how to change her thinking.my hubby says \" listen from one year and take out from other.she is getting old now.her times were different.just ignore.\"
please girls im very irritated with her.constant interference and trying to prove herself right in everything.how should i tackle.
Chameli replied. Hey Love,
Even my MIL does the same.But she ' s very modern in other things.Most MILs think their DIL shud have sons and daughters shud have girls.Because the fact is fathers(i.e their son) are more attached to their daughters than to sons.MILs already have a feeling that their is DIL to abduct her son from her and again a daughter means added trouble.
PS: Please no arguments.i just write what i thought.Plz don' t take offense too.
dia replied.
Dear Love,
Ur problem is really a small one and Pl dont get irritated for her only weakness.Infact, when woman becomes a MIL ,she become the most weird lady for her DIL and the negatives she will possess will be in a vast range !
Fortunately , In ur case , It seems ur MIL has only one fault ... Thats not a fault but we can say a weakness.
So ,Pl ignore and follow what ur hubby said u..Yes, Its best to listen and forget.
Its very common feeling a MIL/Mother craving for grand son. She must have wished a SON even for her daughter. But, ur SIL had 2 daughters. So ,now She want u to have one son. Take it easy. Its common . Even I came from a orthodox family and had a daughter. Everyone in any function, bless me to have one son. It sometimes pinches me. But I used to it, And I dont find it odd now. (Of course , i' m not discussing on the topic , ' how fair it is to wish for a girl' . Its not at all fair. But We r in India, Dear)
After all she is thinking, having a son is a boon and happiness. So she is blessing you a happiness. Atleast she want you to get happiness in ur life acc to her concept . so let her wish so. Yes, Girls and boys r similar to us, parents. And ,In this generation, fortunately we r not particular about gender. But, We cant change old generation and How much ever u argue with her, she tend to repeat same and same words. So just smile .Thats it.
Hope u got my point. Get used to it. Then,U' ll not mind her discussion on womanhood and problems.:) !
2007-07-27
#1
Name: Chameli Subject: May be...
Hey Love,
Even my MIL does the same.But she ' s very modern in other things.Most MILs think their DIL shud have sons and daughters shud have girls.Because the fact is fathers(i.e their son) are more attached to their daughters than to sons.MILs already have a feeling that their is DIL to abduct her son from her and again a daughter means added trouble.
PS: Please no arguments.i just write what i thought.Plz don' t take offense too.
2007-07-26
#2
Name: dia Subject: Hi
Dear Love,
Ur problem is really a small one and Pl dont get irritated for her only weakness.Infact, when woman becomes a MIL ,she become the most weird lady for her DIL and the negatives she will possess will be in a vast range !
Fortunately , In ur case , It seems ur MIL has only one fault ... Thats not a fault but we can say a weakness.
So ,Pl ignore and follow what ur hubby said u..Yes, Its best to listen and forget.
Its very common feeling a MIL/Mother craving for grand son. She must have wished a SON even for her daughter. But, ur SIL had 2 daughters. So ,now She want u to have one son. Take it easy. Its common . Even I came from a orthodox family and had a daughter. Everyone in any function, bless me to have one son. It sometimes pinches me. But I used to it, And I dont find it odd now. (Of course , i' m not discussing on the topic , ' how fair it is to wish for a girl' . Its not at all fair. But We r in India, Dear)
After all she is thinking, having a son is a boon and happiness. So she is blessing you a happiness. Atleast she want you to get happiness in ur life acc to her concept . so let her wish so. Yes, Girls and boys r similar to us, parents. And ,In this generation, fortunately we r not particular about gender. But, We cant change old generation and How much ever u argue with her, she tend to repeat same and same words. So just smile .Thats it.
Hope u got my point. Get used to it. Then,U' ll not mind her discussion on womanhood and problems.:) !
2007-07-26
#3
Name: raj Subject: agree totally
i go with Dia totally.Dont bring up gender topic,you dont need to change her thinking,reserve your voice for greater reasons.
Your mil is good to your sil´ s kids right?So,leave it htere,it´ s the generation´ s way of approach,i have found similar attitudes in my mil too(74 years old).
Raj
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