Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I have a bundle of unique problems.we r a jiont family of 6 members.My MIL,My SIL,MyBIL and his Wife and ME and my husband.ours was arranged marriage last year.My BIL got married 15 yrs back and his wife told sum lies in their family abt her puberty.she used to get her periods once in 7-8 months or 1 year i dont knw exactly so she used to lie that she is down or used to act pregnent and befooled my in laws.nw my MIL found that out and she got a very nice one frm evryone including frm my husband and during argument my husband slapped her,thn my husband was 19 yrs old and my bhabhi 21 yrs and my bhaiya 23 yrs.
since then my bhabhi dont hv any respect in the family.but my bhaiya supports her and stands by her always thts y she is with us.my bil does nt even live a single day without her!!!!!!!but after tgis incidence evn my bhabhi chngd and she said she was just 21 yrs and coz of ignoranc and lack of maturity she acted so.but the respect she lost in our house and everyday she is living but actually deing. till today she is been pinpointed for all her lies in past.my MIL POTRAYS THT SHE IS BY ACCEPTING HER BACK ACTED SO WISELY AND HAS A SUCH A BIG HEART AND IS WORTH WORSHIP.BOTH MY BIL AND MY BHABHI DONT HAVE KIDS AS SHE IS NOT FIT FOR IT.Ffive yrs after my SIL got married but as everyone says god is master he has wisely given back to my MIL FOR all her illtreatment towards my bhabhi and my sil is back home in just one month of marriage and is staying with us since 7 years.she is also living a life of hell as she doesnt even mv out of the room and is so depressed.my mil cries everyday seeing her.my husband and his bro does not support her in her decision and says if she is married and gone then she shud be their and fight 4 her right or just die.thy say by doing this she is trublng their bichari widowed mother.and cums my story i got maried to their family without knwing all this and nw i am in soup,frm the first day of marriage My BIL ill treats me.He abuses me,scold me, says flithy words to me in frnt of my husband and even in frnt of outsiders.i got pregnent thnking tht thng might change after our baby cums but it does not seems working.MY BIL ill teated me thru out my pregnancy told all filthy words to me, told i am kaali kaluti,told that i shud abort my baby,told that the guest came for ghodbharai shud sleep in my room as i am preg and has tummy and caant hv sex with my hubby. my Bil claims that hesays all this thngs coz he is taking revenge on his brother by making him feel hw it feels to ill treat sumbudy.

he abuses my husband also ,my MIL also telling them that thy had made his life hell ,he even beats up my MIL.then after all is done he wud cum and apologise to everyone fall in everyones feet and ask sorry for his misbehaviour.
to my surprise thy all forgive him once he apologises.and for sumtime verythng normal and gan same thng happens.not that my husband does not defend me but forgives him once he apologises.my sil is angry with my husband coz no one atking her prob seriously.so she puts her frustation on me.my Bhabhi too very moody and she wud also talk to me if she wants but atleast she doesnot abuse.

now my MIl is very smart she has custody of everythng with herself the bankaccounts,houses even salaries of everyone.he has everyone in her pocket and even if a needle needs to be purchased with her permission.and she wud nt even do a single thng for her DIL' s and her interferance in our lives is too much.she wud wake up in at 1 am midnight if my husband is back frm office and start serving him food ,doesnot let us spend anytime.

my husband is very nice and caring towards me and says tht if thngs dont improve we wud seperate but is under full influence of my mil and she brainwashes him as if we seperate where will her dauter go and all her powers will end.my husband when i complain agrees and comfirms he will seperate and if his mother cries gets carried away.he says i have also illtreated his bhabhi and its just his brother taking revenge ,, he also protects his family by telling everyone likes him thy r possesive and after marriage he is with his wife and doesnt spend time thts y everyone upset...i cannt understand him.nw he is abroad persuing his higher studies and i have delivered a baby boy and no one even came to vist me in hospital.anyways, i keep figting with him ,complaining him when he is studing and he gets irritayted,evn today i had fight with him coz i was afraid going back to tht house whn he cums back .the situation is so bad thier that ppl dont evn open the door whn i cum back frm office and i keep waiting outside for my mil to hear the calling bell.i cannt sit in public with my husband as my in laws body language so bad with me thy will bang doors on me only my mil talks to me their.nw when i am at my mothers place when i call up and any body except my mil picks up hangs the phone on me.i told eevrything to my hubby and he says verythng wud be fine oonce i go back.i dont want to go their. i thnk mu mil is culpirt as hshe keeps mum abt evrythng and encourages everyone.she is nt even ready to seperate us and nt willing to give our shares.i am in total soup i keep nagging and figting to my husband een in this crutial stage of his stuidies.. wht tro do.. pls help sg replied. THanks,, i hope so... but with least faith:(
Chamel replied. Hey,

Now u have ur baby to concentrate on.And u r with ur parents.So enjoy this stay and don' t keep thinking abt what will happen when u go there.Who knows what will happen.Let ur hubby come.Even if things get worse don' t worry.That might lead ur husband to think abt going seperate.Time answers all problems.So wait. sv replied. Hi SG,

Sorry to hear about your problem. But first thing I should say is that you are very brave & tolerant. Had I been in this condition, I would have left my sasural long back.
It' s good that your hubby loves you & cares for you, but he is not able to leave her mother. In my opinion, you should not go back to your inlaws. If your husband really loves you & cares for you he' ll come back to you.
Don' t tell him straight forwardly that you are not going back, just put some emotional words as by going there your child would suffer. Tell him we should not brought up our child in such atmosphere, it would not be good for him. Try to convince him, I am sure he' ll get agree.
As he is studing there, I don' t think you should bother him again n again. Don' t call at your sasural at all. After all you are also a human being & should be looked after.
Just wait & let your hubby come back.
I am sure everything would be allright.

Cheerup now :-)
You have to look after your baby also.

All the best,
Love.