Relationships  Discussion Forum

its like a oasis for me to see people suggesting for the problems.

i have a problem too. ours is a three year old love marriage and blessed with a son who is one yr now. we were living seperately and quite happy. within first year of our marriage, my mil said that my bil, who was not doing anything and was also not fit to do anything, is my responsibility and i have to take care of his settlement. he started staying with us and after a lot of pushings, we could manage him do a job. we got him married and helped him set up a family. he is not setteled yet in the job but has a son who is three months old. in the mean time my father in law had a heart attack followed by paralysis and they are staying with us. my sil is 36 years old, and after taking her to my gyni and treating her for infertily, she is pregnant. she has come here for godh bharai. we are financially stressed to such an extent that we have 15 lakhs of overheads to deal with. we are taking care of everyone at home and trying to keep them happy.yesterday i overheard they both talking ill bout me. they were also shocked to see me.i felt v.bad bout it and feel like they dont deserve me anymore. i knew that they have never liked me for my straigh forwardness. but after yesterday' s episode, do u think i should continue making the sacrifices and make them feel satisfied which i dont think they can every be. they have been using me for all their needs and talking bad about me in every possible occassion.

I have discussed this issue with my hubby but he is in a situation where he hardly can help me. he is asking me for the solution. what do i do? plz suggest.

I am a working mom and i have a full time maid who takes care of my baby.

moonarty replied. thank u so much for the advices. I think I have already started working on it. Now I dont care about any thing but for me, my baby and my husband. If I am branded as a arrogant person, let that be.

thanks for supporting. smita replied. no need to be perfect sacrificing dil to ppl who r taking u for granted. how r u planning to replay the lakhs of rupees u ve accumulated by yielding to their demands. ur bil doesnt becomes ur responsibility just because ur mil says so.
save for urself, as ' sg' has suggested stop going overboard and more important is that stop feeling guilty for adopting the new approach.
its amzing how ur ils sweet talked u into fulfilling what was their duty !
if something bad happens to u, do u think thses ppl will support u financially ? sg replied. Dear,
pls stop helping them exhaustively frm now.first save for urself and u r child and then involve urself in any other kind of commitment.see practically u cant stop helping them 100% coz they r ur husbands family but limit u r favours to minimum.dont go out of the way and help them as u did before.dont disclose ur finanicials both to them and u r hubby keep scribbing abt u r strugles, the insatllments u need to pay, the commitmnets u hv in life and so on.try using words like \" i wanted to buy this for my child but cudnt and as i had to do this for the family and so on\" do one stuff and act as if u have done hundred.this is solve 3 purpose. one by doing this u will highlight ur favours on them and blackmail them that u maynt b able to do this in future not coz u dont want to but bcoz u dont have sources and u r so helpless.
secondly u will raise in the eyes of u r husband as he will see how much efforts u r taking for his family inspite of they being so rude.

thirdly u r in laws will knw that they cannt take u for granted and will limit their unreasonable demands on u.
tk care ..handle with diplomacy and all the best.
its a slow process but dont loose faith atleast u have ur husband with u.