Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,
i am getting married in the later half of this year. my fiancee's parents usually visit him every year, and stay with him for 6months. he wants the same to continue after our wedding. i tried to explain it to him tht as a newly married couple we will need our space, and it would be good to nourish our relationship with just ourselves in the beginning. he doesnt see reason in wht i say, he thinks tht things will be the same inspite of them living with us. he says (every guy says this) that his parents are not the typical parents who would boss around their daughter-in- law. i know that things will not be the same. i dont want this to affect our relationship. i want to have our first few years for ourselves. i dont want him to think tht i do not want his parents to visit. i want to understand things from \";our\"; point of view.
please advise as to how can i convince him in a luving manner.
thanks in advance, your responses will be greatly appreciated. Wellwisher replied. Getting what you want without upsetting your husband is true art. Be diplomatic. Say while you wish you could get his parents there y ou are not getting your parents with you either.. initial few years it is definitely better to be without any inlaws or parents. However i think if you suggest to your husband that the timeframe can be shortened to a couple of months he may agree.. N replied. Hi dear,

I can understand ur thinking that u want privacy and want to enjoy ur life according to ur taste. But dear think from ur husband's point of view also. He wants his newly wed wife to be loved by his parents also. He wants u to create a good impression of a happy married life. and Not all in-laws are bad dear. I am sure they'll understand the need of privacy and ur feelings.
Try to think on positive aspects of living with ur hubby parents with u in initial stages. For eg. Being a woman u need not worry about the nitty-gritty of house hold chores in the iniital stage of life. Respect from heart and be freindly with them, share ur opinion respectfully. Try to be more practical than self centred. Initally don't be so regod else u'll loose ur hubby's confidence. Once everything is adjusted or after six months of ur adjustment b/w u ,hubby and family, they all will listen u and then u cna run accordingly.
Think about ur own mummy, papa.
Elders have nurtured us with thier precious time and resources, now its our time to fulfill our duties, reap their blessings and believe me u'll always be happy.
d replied. Dear

What is your problem? Don't you see most of the women go through this when they get married? You are not only marrying him, but you are part of his whole family when you marry that guy.

So take it as they come. Remember, they are not going to be there forever. Just give some thought for the elders and your husband's wish too! You will surely need their experience in their life.

And when you become a mom, won't you be interested to stay with your son/ daughter when they grow old? Think about it.

Share the life...and it makes you more content. Even if you have the parents with you, you will surely find enough time to spend alone with your husband.

Think about it & all the best!

A Well Wisher!