Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear friends,
Pl. help me solve this. My MIL always tries to come in betn me and my 2 kids. She always tries to tell them that dadi (grandmother) is the best. She plays with them so much, makes nice goodies for them so that they keep saying dadi dadi all the time. It is becoming too much. Even though we stay in separate cities and if there is a function like my kid's b'day or a baby shower(which we do during Sankranti) she wants to be the main person around. She tries her best to sideline me so that my kids give me just a little importance and tries to create an impression that she is the most important person in their lives. My kids naturally are attached to me and their father more (obviously) no matter how much she tries. She gets very very very very very jealous if my kids keep saying mamma and they come to me most of the time and miss me when I am not there. But ironically she wants her kids esp. her son to keep saying mamma all his life. Overall she is quite an affectionate lady but can be v. dominating and double-tongued and manipulative if she wants to. She basically hates me getting attention from anyone whether it is my husband or my FIL or even my kids. It sometimes gets too much and I just get so angry and want to tell my kids how manipulative and partial she is (She prefers her daughter's kids to her son's). But they r too young to understand that (they are 4 and 2 yrs resp.) SHe wants to be given too much importance unnecessarily. Tell me friends do u also face similar problems. How do u solve it ? Thanx. Amit replied. Hi
Just answer me one questions , If one of your relative start you loving you more when you were smal does it mean your mom will also think teh same way ...Suppose your kids like your father a lot does it makes you unsecure NOOO right then why at teh time of MIL enjou life with her Baby are yours and no one can change it ..A shappy they are with thier Dai u should be more relaxed and happy becaue at the end of teh day children are your no matter what ...You are lucky your MIL loves them ..Dont over imagine things out of irritation s, Irrtiation makes you think negative and makes you hate a individual no matter how goood a person is hi replied. hi toni


i can understand u TOTALLY my dear. i am also going through this situaton. EXACTLY SAME. those who don't know about this experience may not understand us and think we r making silly complaints. but this not somethng silly. our kids r our world. we want them to love their grandparents, respect them and all. but always we want to be ther mother. i know dear.
but friend, we r in such a situation, nobody else , even our husbabds cannot understand us.

but don't be hopeless dear. we love our children, inspite of any other attractions, they'll be ours. u just ignore her. keep the control of ur kids in ur hands. always. don't be sad and dipressed. that 'ill make u bad and gave them more chances to play smart. some women r like that. i know this ,because i also have this same condtion. but anyway i think when our children grow up they can understand everything. they can see their mother's heart. i'm not explainng my experences here. but dear, it's 100% not tolerable. anyway i hadn't sunk by her plans. but i also get fear sometimes. because my kids r my life. but i'll pray always and i know always truth'll win. so be happy dear, be frends with ur kids. let them know u love them upto ur life and also at the same time control them . always indirectly try to understand ur MIL that u r the mother u have the rght to involve in everything of ur kds. ACT LIKE MOM ALWAYS. AND DON'T GIVE HER A CHANCE TO MAKE 'SHOWS'. IGNORE HERE IF SHE MAKES COMPLAINTS. U R DOING THE RIGHT THNG. SO DON;T HESITATE.

don't argur or anything with her. it is the thing with u and ur kids. let her be only GRANDMOTHER and earn that respect. dont allow her to go far beyond that.

be happy . pray love ur kids , sure they know their mother. hope2 help replied. She is a typical grandmother and they all want to be the apple of their grandchildrens eyes just as they hold their grandchildren in such self esteem. You stay in seperate cties so it is only natural that she would spoil the grandchildren when she sees them and it is natural that the children would be thrilled to see her because she has made these infrequent visits special for them. Personally I think your own insecurities are allowing the situation to get the better of you. This is a petty thing and you're looking at things all wrong. What is wrong with a loving grandmother? Many grandchldren dont have this and you would do well to accept that she is trying to do the best by her grandchildren and get over your own silly feelings