Name: raj
Subject: 
keep up your spirits
Hi,
You could say I was in similar situation.My inlaws are my grandparentságe,so big gen gap,and with it all the clash of expectations.Although hubby is not only child,that did not change their possessiveness in any way,my sil only added to it in good measure.
In the beginning of our marriage I was treated as an alien,no rights,no say,only work,work and more work.forget going out with hubby,I was not encouraged to even talk to him!!!sounds so surprisisng at this century.Btu it´ s true.I was not allowed toeven speak to my parents freely.
To put a long story short,I dont know now how I endured all this,maybe for the sake of giving my baby boy a father´ s love,maybe to give my hubby and myself another chance at life,amybe a deep faith in God that He will help me through all this.And He did.
Point i want to make is---living with inlaws is not easy,I too have my own ideas of living,I too believe that life calll but once,I too want to live to the fullest.But in hind sight,I have not lost too much,Ive earned respect of my ils made hubby realise his mistakes,and have a very happy life now.But none of this would have happended if i had decided to walk out alone or with hubby(that he would never have done,anyway).I could achieve all this success only by digging my heels staying in the marriage and with inlaws,and forcing them to see things my way too-you could call this passive aggression.I did not revolt,but just went on stating my needs and ideas until they had to accept it.They dont fully accept still but they have become more tolerant of my way of living too. True I lost heart not once but several times,many times I wanted to give it all up but did not.Today I am the centre of my hubby´ s world,my kids have loving parents,the house is full of good cheer,they have the love of their grandparents too.No decision is taken without my consent,nobody questions me and I am truly free,so I got the best of everyhting although after long struggles.
Please dont think that all this is personal tom-tom.I´ m telling yu all this only because I seem to understand your angst and to boost your spirits.If I could stick around and make a success of my marriage you too can surely do this.Life is changing always,nothing is permanant.your life will change too.
You will get whatever you seek,only try to get it without hurting anyone.Your hubby´ s parents can be excused for holding on to him so much,it OK.Join hobby classes,yoga,do gym together with your hubby,go for walks together,slowly you´ ll be accepted and given your space too,dont doubt it.
All the best.You are a good girl.Keep it up.
Raj.
To Priya, Tony and Raj
thanks!
Someone please reply. I need help!
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