Relationships  Discussion Forum

im a ouite a regular reader of this board,and appreaciate the people help each other here.but now im some problem and would like if someone gives suggestion.

i got married 2 1/2 years back and planning for a child now. my problem is the inspite of my in-laws being nice and loving to me till now i somehow dont like their interference to much in our marital life.
The problem is my MIL is a very emotional lady and very sensitive.My hubby is the only son and i have 1 SIL,who is a monster.Anyways,the issue is if i do anything which displeases her,then she tries to make her best to make my hubby understand that im wrong.i mean e-g..if i got a painting for a house,or put a bedsheet of my choice or small things and if she dosent like she will pass some rude comment like this painting is so weird or this bedsheet is not looking nice in your room its small.though i agree to what she says but sometimes she cuts whatever i say.i mean she loves me thats sure because whatever is cooked in house is of my choice...she gifts me on occasions also..i mean if u see she is nice its just that sometimes she becomes weird and i must say\" SHE IS EXTREAMLY POSSESIVE ABOUT MY HUBBY\" .if anything happens to my hubby she starts crying even on small things her BP shoots up.i dont understand why she is so sensitive.My FIL is ok..calm and sensible.he tries to explain her things..even me and my hubby sometimes try to explain her things but all in vain.she is VERY EMOTIONAL.i understand women are sensitive and emotional even i am but not like her.i have even seen my mom she is also not sooo much.
By emotionally blackmailing my FIL and hubby she gets things done.My husband says\" mummy has been like this since beginning,dad and my hubby has tried a lot the she becomes a little strong but she is always insecure of something or the other so they both have given up\" .look at this age i cannot expect her to change,i know i can change but what worries me more is that tomorrow if i have a child she is going to become possesive about the child too..will not let child go out,talk to friends,or do any other activity out of her sight.i know living with grandparents child is safe and secure and cared but when she herself is so timid,insecure,possesive i fear how our child will have a good enviorment.
me,my hubby as well as my FIL are working...i might leave for some time if child comes but then im educated as well as want to earn so i don want to sit at home after child grows a little(i hope u understand)that depends on circumstances also.

please friends what i fear is that as my MIL is getting old she is becoming more and more insecure,tense,possesive and stubborn.See she has been good to me.small things i can adjust..but i fear about our child cause as she grows old she will become more stubborn.
i thought of separating and taking a house close by to our in-laws,but my hubby says his mom will not be able to bear his separation as well as our house is big enough,thats true for 4 people its big..
i feel she feels that after marriage her son will be shared so she has become more insecure...its all in her mind i dont know how to change.im not a mom till now so dont know the feeling...im confused and a little upset,please someone suggest whats the solution so that all of us our happy.

KUNJU LAKSHMI replied. Dear ABC,

Pls give your SIL little space in your life. If you show little patience in your life SIL & MIL can have their own happy life and you don' t loose anything.

Bringing up children in joint family life is wonderfull and from my own experience. My children are having human nature, social feeling and all good qualities than the children from Nuclear families. Children feels Grandparents love better than parent' s love, no doubt. Your FIL & MIL will get more satisfaction from your children than they got by bringing up your husband.

PLEASE DON' T GIVE PAIN TO THEM BY SEPERATION.