Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,
I have been reading this msg board since so long.As usual I have in laws issue too.I live in USA.My husband is very loving and caring.There is no doubt in mind that he loves me more than any one else.So here is some background issues with MIL and SIL:
My SIL stays in my in laws place since she has to send her kids school, which is near to my in laws place.And she enjoys all the money we send to our inlaws.
*They just very very jealousy nature, simply because I live my life lot better than them and my husband loves me.Everytime we call india, i try to keep the conversation very very limited.Still my SIL is successfull in making arogant indriect comment, which is enough to spoil my week.I know that i can' t change her.But how can I overcome that problem?.If i stopped talking to them my husband might get hurt. and i observe his face falls off if i don' t talk to them.He clearly knows the problem, but he is not ready to listen to me any negative remarks from me.because he clearly knows we end up in having big fights.and he thinks they get a feeling as \" Biwi ka gulam\" .
Another thing, I don' t hav parents and I am the only child, visiting to india is a biggest headache for me.I don' t hav any close relatives whom i can spend my vacation with..if we go to india, my MIL expects us to stay with her for all days.I gave a suggestion to my hubby saying I need to relax ..let' s go for 10 days to some resort or relaxing place.He is concerned about his mother' s feelings, that I am taking her son away from her for 10 days.and he keeps on telling he goes there for only every two years..she is getting old(65yrs)..how long she is going to live? he doesn' t want to split any times for me in those vacation time.And staying with my MIL and SIL is definately not a vaction for me & more over i am going to carry lot of negative thoughts from them and struggle to live them.And like other MIL' s she talks very nicely in front of my hubby with me and hurts me when he is not around.
Now i decided not to go..immediately his face fell down..and depressed.My MIL is worried about her relatives and neighbours comments about me not going there.So she wanted me to come india stay with them, she talks sugar coatedly.
And here is more issues..I don' t have any kids..and my MIL doesn' t want me to have one, because she is worried it will effect their financial incoming from my husband.Even i never believed in such things, some incidents like kala jadhu for not having kids(5-6 astro from different places said the same thing), so I am not ready to go there since I feel she does some negative vibes on us if we go there.
Friends..please advice me what should I do?..It is just impossible for me to take the words coming out of their mouth, specailly my SIL.She talks very very arrogant, egoistic.
raj replied. I tried to give you a website on this board,but it does not allow url.SO you could try searching for aryavaidyasala on the net.It has online registration,conultation forms.My hubby successfully got rid of his spondilytis,excess weight,allergic rhinits,and even excess cholesterol at this hospital.So we are pretty impressed by their treatment.That' s the reason,I suggested that to you.Your hubby' s hesitaiton is quite understandable.
So why dont you analyse why you feel miserable at hteir place?Can we try some other ways like enrolling for some hobbby classes while you are at India,so that you get space and some freedom?
Let' s try,dont worry.
Raj raj replied. hi Arathi,
First of all the good thing is your husband loves you dearly,especially if you have no one else of your own,then you must surely value his love and support.Next,no man wants to seperate from his family in any form on account of his wife-this trait is to be taken positively,it only shows their commitment ot their loved ones.
I had a similar prblem when my husband was deputed for 3 months work to the US.(We live in India)He could take his family since stay was 3 months,but obviously that meant me and kid and not his parents,so they wer very hurt that I got the chance.Full inlaws family said horrible things to me(they were sweet in front of him)but 1 comment made by his elder bro to me was overheard by my hubby and hubby apologised to me on his bro' s bahalf!!!i had not expected that and it did make up for all the nonsense I faced otherwise.
So your inlaws' jealousy is understandable.ig you want to take off in Idia,why dont you try this idea--Tell your hubby you would like to check into an ayurvedic hospital fo some treatment while in India,there are inhouse therapies for even general health and wellbeing even if you have no diease that is.If you like this idea,post back your consent and then I could guide you how to go about that.You can ma-ke bookings over the net from hthe US abd time it wiht your vacation,that way you spend time with inlaws as your hubby wants,you get your space and some goo dhealth to boot!!!compromise is good in my opinion.
Raj