Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

I am a US-based engineer wanting to adopt a baby from India. I will be a single father as I do not wish to get married. I think that if more and more people adopt children in India, there will an end to our population prob? I want to share my experiences. Any one listening? vibha replied. firstly, we should adopt children because we want to parent them -- not as acts of charity to fix a social problem. it is a mutually beneficial relationship just like that of any parent-child. adoption is just another means of forming a family. you may not be biologically related to each other but neither are husband and wife.

i don't think that current indian rules allow for adoption by single men. you can look to other countries such as guatemala... An NRI adopter replied. Rama - not all single people are gay. Many heterosexuals choose not to marry for reasons of their own. Single parents as well as many couples give loving and stable homes to children. Couples who are quarreling and bitter are worse parents than single parents who are happy, loving, and stable.

I think your comment to Varun is prejudiced and very ignorant. Why don't you live up to your namesake, Rama, and show some wisdom and compassion! mannu replied. I have even adopted one son after getting a daughter from our marriage. It is a very fulfilling experience. I think your suggestion of solving the population problem through adoption is very good. But, I dont know if there will be takers for the ideas. ashwin replied. Do not adopt to solve the countrys probs. Do it only if you think you and the kid will derive some joy out of it. Otherwise, you will spoilt two lives. ishka replied. It is difficult to look after natural children, leave aside adopted ones. So, I am very much against this idea of solving the nations problems and creating some for oneself. One shld just think of ones probs. Jennifer replied. Hi my husband and I just had our beautiful daughter come home to us in the US from India in October. I strongly disagree with ishka. We LOVE her so much and she cetainly isnt any *trouble* to look after. Just the normal stuff that comes with being a parent. Unforunately the fact of the matter is w/o international adoption most of these beautiful children would grow up without a family. That is a terrible shame!! Every child deserves to have the opportunity to have parents or a parent to love them although I agree that no one should adopt to solve the worlds problems. That is a very bad idea. Only proceed if you want to be a parent. We did and wouldnt change anything about our sweet little Kali. We hope to adopt from India again in a few years. dr subhash agarwal replied. I was very impressed to know that NRIs like you think of India and Indian children. Despite adoption formalities, couples like you think of giving love to those who have been deprived of it for a long time. I am a doctor based in Pune. I wish I could also follow your example, since we are planning to go to New Jeresy very soon. However, I will have to consult my wife whether she wants an adopted child after a natural son. So comforting to know about couples like yours. ishka replied. My statement shld be taken in the right sense. I meant that raising children is not easy, so adopted children will mean bigger challenges. And so that does not mean children are problems. Nayantara replied. I am an idealist and do belive adoption is ONE of the solutions to our problems. But thats thinking globally. I know that I do want to adopt a child for the joy of bringing her or him up. Ive wanted to adopt since I was young, I thought I would have a biological child first. Unfortunately, my son died last year. I may still try to have another baby, but now I am even more determined to adopt.
I know that adoption will be tough. Bringing up the child will be hard enough, but facing flak from relatives and family will be worse, but i dont care. I think the joy of bringing home my adoptee will be same or greater than the joy when and if I do have a biological child. Waiting for both these events!
Also I feel that God has blessed me with good fortune, and I wish to share with a little child who would otherwise be homeless and bitter. NRI replied. My Auntand her Husband are in the process of adopting a baby boy from Pune and after about 8 months of corresponding the Judge in the local courts rejected their case as NON-Indian case. My Aunt is Hindu, 3rd generation Indian from Guyana and Husband is Italian and they are hurt by the Judges decision. I am very sad as we were all looking forward to have this baby in the family.What is crazy is that the Indian law would not allow an Indian woman to adopt as a Hindu adoption only male can. That is carzy, we need to change that, that discriminates against the Hindu women. It is the woman who teaches religion to the child in North America.So many of my friends who are children of mised marriages 98% of them follow their mothers religion and culture. Reason Dad doesnt have the time...Mom makes the time. Lets make changes so that all Hindus can adopt and stop putting blocks to NRIs adopting babies in PUNE! At least the child would be still in the Indian culture. That same Judge cleared many cases for Swedish...whites who adopted healthy Indian ltlle baby girls...DISCRIMINATING to NRI.We need to have the system more open to anyone with Indian culture be it 5 generation Indian or 20 as long as they are Indians. Be it from Figi, Surinam, Guyana, Africa, USA,Canada, UK..as long as they are Indians it should not matter if they are 1st generation or 5 generation...do they have Indian names, cook Indian at home, watch Indian movies, sing Indian Songs, involved in the Mandhir...then THEY ARE INDIAN! Lets assure that our Indian children are given first priority to NRI. Rama replied. Varun I have no problem with you adopting a child. But what our system needs to put in place in the forms is the question that Korea has on their forms...Are You GAY? Are you a Lesbian? Lets not hide behind professions as Teachers and single when everyone knows that most single esp Whites who adopt form India are Gays or Lesbians. The reason India does not ask the question so everyone is open and clear and upfront. It is against the law in Korea to adopt if you are Gay/Lesbian.All these people have now jumped ship to India to adopt. I would prefer our cildren to go to couples --hetrosexual NRI first, mixed Indian and other and we need to have more of a followup on Gays and Lesbians. Rama replied. Varun I have no problem with you adopting a child. But what our system needs to put in place in the forms is the question that Korea has on their forms...Are You GAY? Are you a Lesbian? Lets not hide behind professions as Teachers and single when everyone knows that most single esp Whites who adopt form India are Gays or Lesbians. The reason India does not ask the question so everyone is open and clear and upfront. It is against the law in Korea to adopt if you are Gay/Lesbian.All these people have now jumped ship to India to adopt. I would prefer our cildren to go to couples --hetrosexual NRI first, mixed Indian and other and we need to have more of a followup on Gays and Lesbians.