Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi , I am working in a very good IT company. I had my delivery at my in laws place. My MIL and FIL are in service and are living in different towns because of their job posting. After a long maternity leave , i wanted to join back to my dream job. But my husband is not supporting me. He wants me to either resign from the job or keep on extending my leave and live with my MIL as she is staying alone. But i want to go and stay with my husband and join my office back. When my MIL goes for service i feel bored at home and also miss my husband. But to my husband my job and my feeling seems to be of no importance in front of his parents need. He just wants me to stay with my MIL till my FIL gets the posting back , which we have no idea when will it take place. If i do not do like this and go back and join my job , he says he will never talk to me. Bcos for him the love for parents cannot be replaced by anything. I m feeling hurt. I feel suffocated here. I m missing my job and my home a lot. What should i do? PLR replied. Hi Neha,

It's really frustrating even to read your situation.If your parents are in the same situation ,does he stay with them in the same way as you are now? You are also earning like him and why these husbands show their domination on wives and treat them as their slaves? If his parents are everything for him then how come you too should have the same kind of feeling for them? If she is a good MIL ,she should understand your situation and send you back to join your family.Why these MILs are so sadists and don't let their sons to enjoy their married life?They always enjoy to see son and DIL fighting or be seperated for some reason.It's bad that your husband is forcing you to stay with your MIL.If she is healthy and able to live on her own since she is able to go and do some service ,why should she need your stay with her?Can't she live on her own and you guys could go and visit her once a while? These husbands are all the same.They always bring their parents inbetween and demand their wives to love them as they love their parents.As a DIL she can respect her ILS but love is something that should come on its own.If ILS show some love towards DILS in return they can show some love.It's vice versa.Write a letter to your hubby what all you feel.It's always better to convey your feelings in a written form than by talking face to face.But make sure that he is not the type that he shows your letter to his mother and complain about you.Don't be depressed ,leave everything to god and pray to change your husbands attitude and make him a lovable husband.Goodluck. Inna replied. Hi Neha,

You may want to suggest ur husband that ur mil can come and stay with you guys for some time. It is good for her as she'll get a break from work and get some rest at ur place.

Please don't pick a fight as it is not going to do any good. Try to convince him that the kid needs some time with the father too.

I can understand ur frustration ... ur dream job is not as important as ur mil's job. She can always leave the job and go stay with FIL but NOOO!! its the DIL always who has to make the compromise.

Try to make him understand that you do not want to loose your job and best option would be to have ur MIL over at ur place.

Hope this helps ... Keep us posted.
Inna.