Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello everyone,
i am married for 1 year and i am in USA now.my hubby and i have a very good relation----physically and otherwise. he is a very caring and loving husband.

but recently, one day i saw many photos of girls on his laptop who were fully naked. i am very disturbed by this.

few months earlier, i found some hidden photos of him and his friends in a strip club. in one photo, he was pressing the boobs of a naked girl and in one i saw his hand inside the bra of a girl. these pgotos were taken by a friend.
when i asked him he just said that they had gone a couple of times to a strip club. when i asked him abt touching the girl he said sometimes it happens when friends are around etc etc.

i had forgottem the incident but again now i found some nude photos on his laptop. this has disturbed me a lot. now when we have sex i always feel like he is not mine. he does not love me but is only interested in sex with me.

i have not told him anything about what i found on his laptop. but i remember once he said to me that u are from a small city in india so u dont know all these things.

but i know one thing--that when u are married u should not do such things like looking at naked girls. if the wife does the same thing, then she is characterless. but the hsuband shud be god everytime. no matter what he does.

whar shud i do? pleaes advise.
Wake up replied. What kind of advises are you giving? It is not normal for a man to ogle at other women, when his wife is sitting next to him.
There are codes of living life. One should condemn and look down upon such behavior and when your husbands find it bad, they will find healthy and decent ways to express their love and needs.
If u let this go on, you will only end up raising such a son and further pollute the society.
Try to make your sexual life more interesting, if need be talk dirty or do different positions. Dress sexy for your husband etc. There is no need for your husband to tell you that you are from a small city. That has nothing to do with one's culture.
Make the environment around your house more decent,pious and fulfilling.
And if nothing works, start by acting as if you are also dreaming about some other guy while having sex, that should make him wake up.
Seriously, attend temple activities with your husband regularly, talk about donation,charity,love and goodness.
That is why a woman is the pillar of her house, she has to hold on to the responsibilities of everything in the house. Good luck dear. g replied. A few months after marriage many woman simply stop having sex with husband. Or show body language that they are not at all interested in sex and turn off the husband. Their thought is \";anyway he's married with me, what can he do about it?\";.

Thats where porn comes in to help the guys. I believe God made porn to help married guys. Long live porn. Down boring wives.
itsnormal replied. hi dear,
This is man's world.We have different yardsticks for men & women. I know it is very disturbing and very depressing. But before making any state of mind, please try to cool your self. i knw it can create some dent in your relationship, overcome it.. for lot of male sex is major distraction, they try but cannot come out of that trap..Feel positive and Experiment.(Before that try to discuss the topic with your very very close well wishers and get some ideas) and then Try to find whether your husband is in such kind of trap or not. if yes then find whether he wants to come out of that or not. Based on that work intelligently and you will win over his weakness and you make him to win his weakness.Dont fall into the trap of why me and what happens if i do the same thing? kind of thinking. It ultimately fetches you nothing. BECOME STRONG and BECOME GOOD MANAGER OF YOUR LIFE. I think you are still young, make your self ready for any kind of storms in life. You are the only person who can make your life happy..(its not your husband or relatives or friends)...Its you and your way of handling things... best of luck aurat replied. Hello dear,
I know you are hurting because you want your dh to only look at you and be intimate only with you. For us women, it is diff as intimacy comes out of emotions and not just physical attraction or anything. Give it time and your husband will definetely get over these things. I know a lot of men who bring blue films to their home to ease and comfort their wives into having sex and make them knowledgable about sexual relationships. May be it is one of those fantasies. I hope he will grow out of it. The more you push him the more he will do it. Take it casually but let him know of your concerns. Try not to be too needy and he will get rid of those fantasies in time.