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I m a working person. I too have same old problems about MIL but thats not the issue I want to talk about right now.
One holiday I found that my MIL puts on tubelight and fan in her room when she wakes up and then that keeps on all day till night. I asked the 24 hr maid and she said it happens everyday.

My MIL can open the curtains for light. She can open windows for air as it is pleasant weather here not hot yet. (windows have iron net so no question of insects etc).
I was feeling a little warm sometimes and felt like putting on fan, but when i opened windows it was very airy and I was happy for saving electricity.
I can ignore for putting on fan all day, i can let go for her laziness to open and close windows. But there is no genuine reason for putting on tubelight all day, the only reason is it is dark with curtains pulled. Who will open the curtains and close? So let the tubelight be on.

Small issues can be ignored but this is a great wastage of my hard earned money and nations electricity both.
A day or week could be ignored but if this is not stopped it will go on and on.

Asking her directly to put it off is the last option i want to do. I have tried by taunting my maid to put off the light in my room and open the curtains and said why r u wasting bijli, maid?
But my mil seems shameless. I have informed my hubby and like all hubbies he suggested to ignore it.
He is also not wrong, telling mil about it she will make a very big issue out of it and spoil peace in house for days.

Once or twice I kind of walked into her room by some reason, sat with her had tea etc and while going back opened curtains and put off light. She did not say anything to that.

But what when i am away? Friends, do you have any suggestions to stop this? I m sure you muust have come across problems like this. Please help. father_to_naughty_son replied. all u hardworking and costsensitive bahus and betiyaas ,may i suggest a engineering solution for all this problem : there are electronic gadgets available in the market which will automatically switch on and off the tubelight depending on whether it is daytime or night. There may also be gadgets to automatically control curtain movements.or u can have remote controlled operations for these two things( make sure the remote control is in ur hands). This may involve one time cost but will save u everyday irritations hopefully. Do give ur feedbacks if u try this. Ritika replied. Hi Saheli,

My reply to Amrita was based on her mail which mentioned very specifically just ONE FAN and ONE TUBE light.

I guess you' ll agree that an AC and a TV are WAY more power consuming than a fan and a tube...your bill of 6-7 K is mainly because of the AC, I think...my parents use AC sometimes in their room on hot nights...and the months that they do so, their power bill jumps from Rs 300-400 to Rs 3000 +.

Yes, I sympathize with you on this score, but I still think that Amrita' s case is a bit different and on a much lower scale than yours.

You mentioned that living without AC is difficult...can you imagine living without a fan all day during summer...which is what I got from Amrita' s post...

Abt the tube - She can buy a power save tubelight (which again consumes less power than a light bulb)...and put that in her MIL' s room...

My point is - there seem to be other issues that she has with her MIL...it would be better if she picks and chooses her battles...rather than tense up so much over something like this...

Take care... Saheli replied. Thanks friends, i know you all are trying to help out. Also, in first look, putting on the light or fan seems a petty issue.
I am assuming Amrita was raising it only when it became a big one - and amrita would be better to tell that - but i can assume as i have been there.

If i share some points may be u agree.

I live in gurgaon where electrivity is not only one of most expensive in India, but there is also a looooottt of power cut just because they are short of power. Ask the people of Delhi and surrounding regions about the status of power! Its so pathetic. It is a punishment if you do not have a power-backup in your house! In such a situation, it is responsibility of all of us to save power.
That' s one.

I am a working person for past 7-8 years and I came to know about my MIL' s power usage after it went on for some 3 years. First i made sure if she really had any problem, but she was straightforward to tell me that she wont get up again and again to open/close. She needs them closed in evening and in noon when she sleeps.

She is healthy not very old as to have mobility issues. But I had accepted it then and asked maid to do that for her.

I am in office all day, just like Amrita, so cant make sure that curtains are open or what.

Well, but I agreed that it was a small issue so I ignored.

For past 2 yrs now, the elec bill is constantly very high and during my maternity leave last summer i realised that AC, fan, tubelight, bathroom light, and TV, all used to be on all the time. Its so hot, so no compromise on AC fan. But bathroom light? Room' s tubelight?
Also, my MIL has always had 2 lights in her room in her house, so she has it here. I agree for night. But in day, both are on!

Then, she dint let the baby stay in her room for long for 2 reasons - baby pees on her bed, and she wants TV on always so baby doesnt sleep in that volume (that was after i resumed office).

So essentially, all the electrical appliances/gadgets used to go on and on all day (of course assuming frequent power cuts!)

Additionally, when power goes off, it switches to inverter which supports lights and fans. But with so many on, it discharges soon, its life reduces.
My MIL knew that but did not bother. And one fine day my maid told me that the power cuts in evening daily at 5 30, the inverter doesnt work well, and the baby stays in darkness for an hour or so!

I did something like Tony suggested. I talked about all this to my MIL when she was in a good mood. She understood and followed for 10-15 days.
After that, back to square one!

Well. I just informed my hubby about it, he says he wont speak a word abt it to MIL. I even tried threatening that I want to spend money here and there, but he said \" fine\" .

Now, all the appliances gadgets are on all day just like before. When inverter goes down, i simply get a new one.

Have compromised not to bother myself on materialistic matters :-(
friend replied. hi
c' mon yaar mana for someppl it is a very big issue as happening daily but instead of doing all wat tony said better to talk to MIL st. or can switch of the light by itself telling her that bcoz nobody was in the room so i switch of the light ... here i second the suggestion from Ritika and dia but just not agrred to tony .
after all its her house also
or can talk to ur hubby so that he can talk to her (ghuma phira key)
just think from her point of view we all wifes have come in our hubby' s life after her so she also have some right on his son
solution can be to talk to her or switch of the lights by own.

one more thing can try is sit together in eve at tea and can cut discussion abt energy saving like in india ppl waste so much of energy and see the other ppl(poor) dont get light so some kids study under lamp light so bad some emotional drama and when she starts agreeing to it then politely can say mumma aap bhi to bhool jatey ho light or fan band karna isliye kai bar main karti hoon band.
like this she will also not feel bad . Ritika replied. Hi Amrita,

I don' t know how you will take this, but I think putting a fan on in summer should be acceptable...

Everybody feels hot and cold to a different degree...Maybe your MIL might be feeling warmer than you and prefers the fan...what is the big deal..

How much electricity can she spend by keeping 1 tubelight and 1 fan running?

Yes, it would be great if she switched off everything and was energy conscious, but I dont think this issue is that great that it needs escalation...

Maybe she is used to living like that (with a light and fan on in her room)...let her be...

I think there might be other bigger issues with her that might be troubling you and that' s why this small thing is irritating you so much...

If she is not in her room and her room' s light and fan are on, you might make a show of it and go and switch them off saying \" Mummy zara light and fan off kar doon...bekar mein chal raha ha..aajkal bijli ka bill bahut ho jata hai..\" ...

But if she is in her room and prefers the light and fan on, I would not bother about this so much...

Take care...


dia replied. hey Amrita,
I understand how it would make u feel like. But pl ignore this thing and let her live acc. to her wish.
just whenever possible, u can go and pull the curtains and switch off light indicating u dont like it (pl smilingly do this) ..thats not a problem.
Dont worry ' bout u not being there for pulling curtains in her room. Some ppl would have some preferences ...If u r strongly willing to save power, ask ur hubby to fix a energy saver lamp whch gives tubelight feeling and costs about 300/- .And its never gonna give u extra current bill.Nowa days in many apartments, ventilation is less and they r just used to these lamps 24hrs...
SO dont make a scene if u dont have much many problems with her atitide.

But tell her natural air and sunrays are good to her health too. So just request her if she can try out opening windows in the afternoons.Tell her air rotation makes her fresh...but dont mention about electricity bill.

Hope u understand what I mean.


Tony replied. Hey amrita and saheli try this.
when she is not around, remove the choke of the tubelight. call the elctrician and ask him to repair it (ask him to say that this electrical point is burnt, u cannot use tubelight now, use only zero bulb). anyways she will be irritated with the zero bulb as it does not give any light. she might insist on a 40W or 60W bulb. ok, put it. very soon that will get irritating too and she will have to open the curtains or at least she will ask the maid to do it - this way your electricity will be saved. well as far as the fan is concerned, u could wait and watch, becoz if the curtains are open then the windows also could be opened by the maid, so fan may not be required. try it it may work temporarily, or else when wait for a while. analyse all your elec. bills, make a graph and discuss with your husband on what a waste WE ARE ALL DOING. and make a rule that from now onwards everyone is going to save on the electricity. if because of this she wants to create a scene, let her because that is whatr she will be doing. creating a scene. you had only meant good. but as far as possible, avoid taunting and be nice and strike the chance when she is in one of her good moods. (it is v. easy to advise, isnt it? :))all the best Saheli replied. I too have same problem. Have also tried using same solution as yours, by asking maid and husband to put off light but MIL did not change.

Dont know, have no answers really, this time. Infact, I have come across another problem lately in addition to this one. I have a new maid since some time now and I found out that MIL does not do any work and asks maid to do it.

I had hired the maid for baby and food but she is serving my MIL! When I red Priti' s message who was surprised to see her mom as mil, I felt as if it was my mil!
The problem is my maid is getting tired.
She told me that she is done with kitchen work and feeding baby etc and mil asks her to make tea or something for her.

If anybody has any suggestions, please tell.

I am also trying out something meanwhile. I have planned to ask for something unreasonably expensive to my hubby. Its just 15-20K investment into something, but not really worth it. I am sure my hubby is going to refuse saying dont waste money and then I am going to point out my mil' s wastage and i will say that when she can waste your money why cant i waste my own earned money?
Yes it means i am going to behave childish. Whatever, but I am going to try this out for 2-3 times and see if it helps.
As far as I know my hubby, he is still going to keep quiet! He is a saint!

Let me try though. Will let u all know!

Share your suggestions friends, if any.