Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi
i do not have father. i a middle class person. my wife and mother are not in good terms at all. they are literally abusing each other. when i ask each one individually about the problem both of them tell things as if the other person is wrong in a really emotional and convincing manner.

i cannot send my mother to some relative house and neither i can be harsh on my wife for being rude to my mother.

please advise me what i should be doing

regards
venkat friend replied. hi,
my suggestion will be dont speak in betw them let them handle things bcoz if u start speaking then u will be torn and M will say u take side of ur wife and W will say u take side of ur mom .

so one day if they have this fighting drama then get angry very loudly just say u are fed up of this daily fighting if this doesnot stop u will go somewhere else then after me keep fighting .why dont u both try to adjust ask ur wife to adjust with ur mom and mom with ur wife at that moment only just threat them that this daily drama of fighting is getting in my nerves and i m not able to work properly in office also .
then i think they will try to make some peace and go out for some 2-3 hr after coming back dont talk to either for some times then call them both make them talk abt wat is bothering to either. sometimes talking st helps. otherwise u end up loosing ur mental peace.
bye
hope it helps. SR replied. I am sure these problems arise from when your mother is trying to interfere in the way your wife is doing things...running the house, kitchen etc!!!

I think you need to tell your mum to take a back seat now. She has been there and done that.... as now its the time for you wife... she is trying to enjoy her married life...progressing onto life from her childhood..onto womanhood and now probably motherhood... your mum has been through all this... so she should take a back seat and let your wife lead her life the way she pleases.
Your mum and your wife must be on a different wavelenght..your wife must possess a modern mentality and your mum' s way of doing things must be the same way as they did it in 1960s... so she needs to change her ways according to the time.
You need to step in otherwise this will get worse and one day they won' t even be speaking to each other and you' ll end up losing one of them.
X2 replied. Pls give more details about what exactly your mother and wife tell you is their take on this whole problem...unless you tell that, there is no way to know who is right or wrong...