i am a woman in US with my husband married for 2 years i am totally free(idle) for last 2 years.i have no job .i am not going to college for study.
even i have no baby.i am trying for having baby but my husband is not taking it seriously.i am in critical condition i know u advise me to work somewhere but in US i can't work leaglly then u ppl suggest me for further studies this is not possible due to some personal problems what should i do?sometimes i thought what will be happened if i have no baby for whole life i think nobody is in such critical condition like mine.
Subscribe to this conversation
Reply Anonymously
i am a woman in US with my husband married for 2 years i am totally free(idle) for last 2 years.i have no job .i am not going to college for study.
even i have no baby.i am trying for having baby but my husband is not taking it seriously.i am in critical condition i know u advise me to work somewhere but in US i can't work leaglly then u ppl suggest me for further studies this is not possible due to some personal problems what should i do?sometimes i thought what will be happened if i have no baby for whole life i think nobody is in such critical condition like mine.
aditya replied.
Hi Deepa
I feel sad that ur husband is not even hugging u after office hours, what a sad situation. I really don’t know how some one can be so insensitive to himself & his dearest one. Why don’t u ask him to join u for some fun games in the evening. Try with some very simple & “manly” games & persuade him to involve into that. Actually I have this problem with my wife, But due to my continuous efforts we are getting better, My wife is in IT field & totally exhaust till she reaches home & only thing she wants is, to sleep or worry abt sth next day. I persuaded her to get involve with me into some discussions regarding Bollywood/ Games/ or some times even politics & u wont believe, she told me that she feel relax after these nonsense arguments. Here I,m not telling u to do the same ,what I did, but find out what ur husband like & try to engage him into the same. Let me tell u, & its proven by the medical science, People are not tired physically at any given point of time, but mentally. Just think abt this, u r very tired, suddenly ur father comes to see u, How u ll feel. U ll feel very energetic, u ll prepare best food for him, while ur mind keep singing joyous song of ur childhood. All the tiredness will go. Its proven fact.
Then why don’t u make ur husband’s mantel tiredness vanish & let him join u in the family fun by leaving all his worries at office. I know its not that easy, but still its an option. Work on it & u ll feel really really happy. Just engage him.
If above doesn’t work then don’t allow him to think that u need his attention all the time, try to ignore his presence, Make some friends & call ur friends (woman only) when he is around. A man will feel very insecure if he finds that his wife is not bothered abt him anymore, He will try to know whats going on & ll try to be more engaged with u & then u can easily pattao him into whatever u want.
I,m confident u ll be happy to the core..
Aditya…
Akshita replied. Hi Deepa,
I was also there in US for a year. I went immediately after marriage. And i think u can easily under stand that it takes almost a year to settle into an absolutely new world(both after marriage and in a new country). By the time i started settling we were back to our own country.
I had absolutely the same problem as u r having. I was nt doing any job, no studies, no kid, didn't even know driving, absolutely cutoff from the world. My world was my husband and my house.I just use to peep out of the window the whole day. I use to stay at home the entire day, just cooking fresh all the times and doing all the household chores. I use to feel like going out on weekends but my husband always use to tell me that he is tired and wants rest.
The outing for me was just grocery in 10-15 days. We use to go out to watch movies on weekends, but just spending 1 1/2-2hrs watching movie wasn't enough for me. I wanted time from my husband which mostly he didn't have coz he was wrking till late and after coming home also he use to wrk a lot for his office. And i could understand his feelings that he wanted to give me his precious time coz he really loved me and cared for me but he was too busy and tired. To relax he also use to surf net or watch TV. Whenever i asked for a kid, he had his own reasons to say NO.
I can truly understand you and your feelings. While writing also i do have tears in my eyes, recalling my past.
But, deepa this is a very good advice to you that you start making friends on net but be careful. Secondly,u might be having gym, swimmingpool, park in ur complex. Try spending some time there. U'll also be able to make friends both desi and videsi's there. Start the conversation by urself. Invite them to ur place. You'll start enjoying once u make friends in ur own complex. I couldn't do all this but i'm sure if u do u'll be benefitted.
Try telling ur husband that how much a kid is must in a family no matter where u are. You want somebody to share time with u. Tell him that if u plan early , later on u can settle him well in time.
But Dear don't get disheartened. I know it's a time of distress but pls don't loose hope. I wish u good luck and be courageous. U can share ur feelings with me. If u feel like just send me ur mail ID here itself and i'll reply u back for sure.
Good luck. Take care. Bye.
aditya replied. Why dont u make online friends it will give u some different feelings, just be friends to so many man/woman all over the world. I ll be more them happy to be ur E-mail friend. I,m Aditya from India e-mail Id. is aditya_km_blr@yahoo.co.in, May be u ll like to share ur boredom with some many people like u have no work & feel all day.
do write to me & we ll be good friends.
SONU replied. hi deepa,
ofcourse u will have babies in ur life.its only 2 yrs of marriage.may be ur husband has some secure future in his life so he is not taking baby issue seriously.be with ur husband try to understand him. n enjoy life yaar with ur husband.once u r with kids there wont be such enjoyment anymore.so as days go try to be more happy.
join some club,do yoga or exercise,try new in cooking,decorate ur house
theres so much to do,
take care
sonu
no replied. hello,
this is a common situation if u come on h4 visa to US,,, u have to enjoy life the way it comes... if u do enjoy shopping u can spend atleast 3 days a week in shopping.. if u like computers u can spend half of ur day on interent.. watching tv..... i m suggesting this coz u do not want to study...... if u do enjoy reading u can books from library and read which will definetly enrich ur knowledge ......... reading is the best thing i would suggest u..........
sha replied. hey would it help if you made some new friends?
2005-09-14
#1
Name: aditya Subject: Try this...
Hi Deepa
I feel sad that ur husband is not even hugging u after office hours, what a sad situation. I really don’t know how some one can be so insensitive to himself & his dearest one. Why don’t u ask him to join u for some fun games in the evening. Try with some very simple & “manly” games & persuade him to involve into that. Actually I have this problem with my wife, But due to my continuous efforts we are getting better, My wife is in IT field & totally exhaust till she reaches home & only thing she wants is, to sleep or worry abt sth next day. I persuaded her to get involve with me into some discussions regarding Bollywood/ Games/ or some times even politics & u wont believe, she told me that she feel relax after these nonsense arguments. Here I,m not telling u to do the same ,what I did, but find out what ur husband like & try to engage him into the same. Let me tell u, & its proven by the medical science, People are not tired physically at any given point of time, but mentally. Just think abt this, u r very tired, suddenly ur father comes to see u, How u ll feel. U ll feel very energetic, u ll prepare best food for him, while ur mind keep singing joyous song of ur childhood. All the tiredness will go. Its proven fact.
Then why don’t u make ur husband’s mantel tiredness vanish & let him join u in the family fun by leaving all his worries at office. I know its not that easy, but still its an option. Work on it & u ll feel really really happy. Just engage him.
If above doesn’t work then don’t allow him to think that u need his attention all the time, try to ignore his presence, Make some friends & call ur friends (woman only) when he is around. A man will feel very insecure if he finds that his wife is not bothered abt him anymore, He will try to know whats going on & ll try to be more engaged with u & then u can easily pattao him into whatever u want.
I,m confident u ll be happy to the core..
Aditya…
2005-09-15
#2
Name: akshita Subject: thanks
Hi aditya
Thanks for the nice advice. I'll also try this coz my situation is also the same as deepa's. I hope it wrks.
I give him too much of importance. I think due to this he does not care much for my feelings.
Thanks a lot. I wish your advice works.
2005-09-13
#3
Name: Akshita Subject: Agree to ur problems
Hi Deepa,
I was also there in US for a year. I went immediately after marriage. And i think u can easily under stand that it takes almost a year to settle into an absolutely new world(both after marriage and in a new country). By the time i started settling we were back to our own country.
I had absolutely the same problem as u r having. I was nt doing any job, no studies, no kid, didn't even know driving, absolutely cutoff from the world. My world was my husband and my house.I just use to peep out of the window the whole day. I use to stay at home the entire day, just cooking fresh all the times and doing all the household chores. I use to feel like going out on weekends but my husband always use to tell me that he is tired and wants rest.
The outing for me was just grocery in 10-15 days. We use to go out to watch movies on weekends, but just spending 1 1/2-2hrs watching movie wasn't enough for me. I wanted time from my husband which mostly he didn't have coz he was wrking till late and after coming home also he use to wrk a lot for his office. And i could understand his feelings that he wanted to give me his precious time coz he really loved me and cared for me but he was too busy and tired. To relax he also use to surf net or watch TV. Whenever i asked for a kid, he had his own reasons to say NO.
I can truly understand you and your feelings. While writing also i do have tears in my eyes, recalling my past.
But, deepa this is a very good advice to you that you start making friends on net but be careful. Secondly,u might be having gym, swimmingpool, park in ur complex. Try spending some time there. U'll also be able to make friends both desi and videsi's there. Start the conversation by urself. Invite them to ur place. You'll start enjoying once u make friends in ur own complex. I couldn't do all this but i'm sure if u do u'll be benefitted.
Try telling ur husband that how much a kid is must in a family no matter where u are. You want somebody to share time with u. Tell him that if u plan early , later on u can settle him well in time.
But Dear don't get disheartened. I know it's a time of distress but pls don't loose hope. I wish u good luck and be courageous. U can share ur feelings with me. If u feel like just send me ur mail ID here itself and i'll reply u back for sure.
Good luck. Take care. Bye.
2005-09-09
#4
Name: aditya Subject: amke friends
Why dont u make online friends it will give u some different feelings, just be friends to so many man/woman all over the world. I ll be more them happy to be ur E-mail friend. I,m Aditya from India e-mail Id. is aditya_km_blr@yahoo.co.in, May be u ll like to share ur boredom with some many people like u have no work & feel all day.
do write to me & we ll be good friends.
2005-09-08
#5
Name: SONU Subject: hello
hi deepa,
ofcourse u will have babies in ur life.its only 2 yrs of marriage.may be ur husband has some secure future in his life so he is not taking baby issue seriously.be with ur husband try to understand him. n enjoy life yaar with ur husband.once u r with kids there wont be such enjoyment anymore.so as days go try to be more happy.
join some club,do yoga or exercise,try new in cooking,decorate ur house
theres so much to do,
take care
sonu
2005-09-09
#6
Name: lively Subject: deepa hear this out
Hi Deepa, Listen to this. I also came to the US in 1996. Just like you I was not able to study as they needed one year of residency in my state(CA) otherwise the price was 10 times higher. I did not have a baby for 3 years. Imagine my plight. I just went in circles, I fought, I cried, I went back to India a couple of times but just to come to a conclusion that this is what my life is and I have to accept it, took me a long time.
Once the baby comes it is much harder than now. Everyone even me only saw the peachy side of having a baby. You see lots of couples in the park walking with beautiful babies in strollers and that is what you see. Once you have a child, your life will change overnight. You have to wake up acc to the baby's time, feed her every 2 hours initially, even peeing will be only when she permits you to. So enjoy your time now. Place ads on online portals and make friends, go on hikes, go to movies, if your dh is not involved then involve him. Make plans to enjoy your weekends. You can play games with him. There are a lot of groups for couples without kids who have activities (which parents cannot do and envy). If there is no such group in your area initiate one. And one more thing, if you do not have many indians in your area, the best to do is to accept new people and change your views on things. You are young and you should enjoy. Come on girl, don't lose your youth by sitting down and grumbling. Get up and enjoy.
2005-09-09
#7
Name: deepa Subject: no way
hey aditya u r really appreciated for this effort.Dear sonu the main problem is my husband.we luv each other he said to me "I luv u" 3-4 times a day but u know he is more busy with work than me he came at 6pm from work but pretend to be tired.the rest of the evening he spend on watching TV,net surfing etc even he has no time to hug me on bed only hug That is why i want baby so that i can neglect him as he does i can't do shopping as my hubby is collecting money for his family's future .
2005-09-08
#8
Name: no Subject: hi
hello,
this is a common situation if u come on h4 visa to US,,, u have to enjoy life the way it comes... if u do enjoy shopping u can spend atleast 3 days a week in shopping.. if u like computers u can spend half of ur day on interent.. watching tv..... i m suggesting this coz u do not want to study...... if u do enjoy reading u can books from library and read which will definetly enrich ur knowledge ......... reading is the best thing i would suggest u..........
2005-09-08
#9
Name: sha Subject: friends
hey would it help if you made some new friends?
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : upset
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : upset
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
There is no harm to make life exciting. There should be some spices. I have done threesomes with three couples and they are enjoying with more fun. So you should try it. My tg- hp2609. You can reach me... - Striker [View Message]
RE:Santhoshi mata's vrat.
Can I skip Santoshi mata fast for once this Friday? As its impossible in every condition to keep the fast as i am going to a remote place where such things can't be maintained? I've done more than 16 fasts with my pure heart. Will God forgive me if I skip this fast? Please reply fast. Its very urgent.... - Avika [View Message]
RE:Genuine Question
well priya its only natural to feel this attraction and lonliness. nothing wrong in it , only thing if any affair has to happen it will happen , if not , it will never happen. ... - rahul [View Message]
RE:RE:female or male sex capsules or some other assesori
I don't think would work. It would make one have garlic breath which could be a turnoff. I strongly feel that this is the time in their life to put down Kama sutra and take up some Yoga Sutra and religious books. Maybe she becomes like him too. More spiritual.... - Kim [View Message]
RE:RE:female or male sex capsules or some other assesori
Sm prolem here..what shoud i do..my huby dont listen anything... - Bindu [View Message]
RE:RE:female or male sex capsules or some other assesori
Try this...
Name: akshita
thanks
Agree to ur problems
amke friends
no way
hi
Family Planning
Pregnancy
Babies
Kids
Teens
Discuss
Community
Find Listing
Videos
More
