Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear all DIL

I wanted to share my situation with you. I will really appreciate if you can give your view on this. Compare to the other post, you might find that I am not at all in a bad situation.

Me and my husband lives in US. Right now my MIL and FIL are visiting us.
My problem is my MIL does not work at all and pretend like she is sick. Sometimes I feel its ok as it is not as much of a work. She talks so much behind me in front of my FIL. I know this because once when I went outside, I taped them. And she also has these small games to play with me. For example when my husband is home she will try to help me otherwise she won’t even touch a kitchen. When I am not home she will go through all my stuff. When only me, MIL and FIL are home than she will act like I don’t exist. She won’t talk to me or look at me. Sometimes I feel like she is jealous of my life as my SIL is having some financial problem and here, me and my husband are financially stable and enjoying our life. She is also very irritating. When she will go back to India she will say all this stuff about me to my parents which will make them worried about me. She will say that she had to teach me all cooking and other stuff and all that. She is also keep giving me examples of others life such how someone has to struggle after marriage and will keep telling me that you are lucky that you do not have suffer anything. And how her son is wonderful person and that I should be thankful to her.

So, overall right now it is really hard for me to digest that, I am cooking for them, doing all of their stuff then also why do they speak behind my back and ignore me like I am invisible. If I am sick she won’t care. There is no one with whom I can talk about this. It is hard for hubby to understand as only a woman can understand other woman properly in these situations.

Thanks
dia replied. Know what,Urs is common problem.

Somewhere in this board I stated one quote \" If two dolls are made... they look so pretty, Try naming them DIL and MIL , they' ll just get life and start fighting\" .
That is the jadoo of terms \" DIL & MIL\"


Simple solution for ur problem is... U too behave as if they dont exist!
see, here when ur fil, mil r there...they r behaving as if u dont exist! It hurts , I accept! but y do u crave for her attension. Let her behave same ...u start n' joying behaving exactly like her.
Give ur hubby hints that u worked and she was idle.tell him in general and smily voice and be sure not to sound as complaint.

So ur hubby also gets to know u r doing house hold chores and not his mother. Then u need not worry for her acting skills in showing everybody that she is doing the work.

Just n' joy ignoring her movements and dont take it to mind or heart. then definitely u can feel normal.
Prema replied. Hi
It seems you r sailing in the same boat as most of the DILs .It just shows the typical mentality if an MIL such as insecurity,and loss of control which makes your MIL talk behind your back, make you realise how lucky you are. I would suggest that you ignore her sick behaviour and try to be very happy when you are at home, also tell her that you are indeed very lucky and enjoying your life! Dont let her shadow your happiness and freedom with her mentality. Be open, frank, happy,enjoy your life, be especially happy in front of your husband. Your husband will soon realise that you are doing your role as a DIL perfectly and will trust you and love you more, which I feel is the only important thing that you should focus on.Also try to be more emotionally close to your IL and see if she too melts some day and accepts that you r a perfect and loving DIL!
Prema.