Relationships  Discussion Forum

I suffered a lot under my parents-in-law (as my husband was posted in gulf he could not help me much at that time). My parents in law pounded my self respect,made me to over work, abused me, bad mouthed about etc.However my brother-in-laws wife had good parental support and her husband listened to her (besides he earned very handsomely). He used to place a lot of importance on his wife and his parents could not play between him and his wife.The behaviour of my p-i-l was different toward my co-sister. They appreaciated her and idiolised her even for the most insignificant reason whereas I was made to do all menial jobs. I developed depression. Atlast my p-i-l have expired and I am now living with my husband peacefully. I took it up in my hand to call up my brother-in-law to keep up the family unity intact. Whenever he visits us it is I who take up the initiative to talk to him and his wife so that the link is not broken. However he keeps his relationship with just my husband and our children but does not even speak to me except 'hi-bye'. I feel I am doing mistake in taking initiative in keeping the relationship which should be from both sides (after all I went into my husband's family, it is their responsibility also to keep the ties). However my husband's relationship with this b-i-l's wife is smooth. They chat,laugh etc. I am in depression. Am I cheap. When I share this with my husband, he does not understand this and says he is helpless. At one time I asked my husband to stop talking to his brother's wife but he says that is bad but continues with normal relationship with his bother's family. I feel depressed because it was meaningless to have spent many years in my inlaws house and changing your thoughts,ideas, food, behaviour to suit them under the garb of Indian culture when even normal talks are not maintained. My bother in law is doing very good financially and has a string of worshippers (including my husband)behind him for the same. He holds a influential position in his company.Let me also add that I have no parental support. I feel cheap to always take initiative in the talking and maintain the family ties. He speaks with everybody in the room (and I have nothing but just to watch him talk). I wish him and his family for birthdays, festivals but he inturn wishes only my husband and children for their birthday and festival.How do I deal with this problem. Married ladies similar problems (but have managed to keep us their self respect in such a depressing relationship) need to advise me as I have no parents to guide me. xx replied. hi,

i don' t know whether still ur reading this. Even i had the similar problem staying with my in_laws in my b-inlaws and co-sisters house. now i live seperately but still when we visit he won' t talk to me and purposely ignore me. Initally i felt bad but now i have started to do the same back when he visits us , don' t worry about the relationship it will not get spoiled bcoz your husband still talk to him. this has really worked for me. my b-inlaws attitude has changed now. all the best. ash replied. why you are worried about your BIL , you have the support of your husband , thats is more than anything else in this world.

Let your BIL go in hell.

Regards
ash