Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I need all your views and suggetions one more time..As i mentioned earlier i am still staying in my moms place and my younger kid is in his 7th month.All these days as i told, my hubby used to visit us but no calls from my in-laws.last month my younger one was hospitalised for breething problem and weezing for five days.they never bothered to come and see the baby nor asked about his health atleast through phone.last week i called my husband and asked whether he is going to take us or not and whatever he is doing is Ok for him? coming to the point...
1)He wants me to come next week and to stay in his parents place and there is no change in it.
2)I told him that i will come but he should come and take us.
Now he says that he wont come and in India only the girls parents will leave in in-laws place.so he is not ready to come and take us.
what should i do now? Really getting worried thinking about my husband and his behaviour.
please guide me.shall i throw all my self respect in the dust bin and go with my parents to the in-laws place (i am feeling like prisoner who has death sentence very soon)
-SSi

neha replied. Dear SSi,
We are always there for you but hope things get better and u no more need our suggestion but keep us updated GOD BLESS U I really feel for you and some what i feel you deserve a better life and Hope GOD gives u that....
TAKE CARE neha replied. SSi, what do you think in your heart thats what matters, do you think that when u go there you will get a fair share of love and respect and same is with your kids, you didnot tell about any development in your working status, did you find and job. How is your 7 month old now what did the doctor say. I think SSi give it a try one last to have no guilt that you never wanted to get the things staright. this will help you in two ways:
1)If your husband has lost hi way you can get time to stay with him and make him feel about you and the kids and may be he will change...
2) If there are more confusions, illusions in your mind about your husband to break and realtion which you are not able to decide then you will get that idea also.
You know we women are quiet smart to know what is happening but we love to live in denail, so my dear let this denail die fast and you groom as new person... bur remember by doing this you are not ruining your self respect go there but \" SIR UTHA KE\" , side by side look for a job please again and again money comes first for any decision you need finacial support only job can give you nobody else not even parents. ok keep these things in mind.
1) don't let him abuse you physically and mentally.
2) analyse what is going on does he want to get rid of you, i thold you don't live in denail for long else you will soon become a part of that illusion.
3) Find a job.
4) Boost your self confidence dress nicely try to make things clear that it is your house too, atleast till the marriage is not finsihed.
5) let your mother inlaw know what is she doing with your marriage.
6)Last but not least make decision of \" STAYING\" or \" NOT STAYING\" as soon as you can as the moment you make up your mind you will a free person and then confidence will run in your bosy don't gie to long and remember this will be your last try to save your marriage after this there will no guilt of getting rid parasites and start afresh with your kids and parents you are lucky girl your parents can look after your kids and you can keep a small house maid in some money try to squeeze your budget in the money you will get and let your parents supervise if they are old to help.
7) SSi I don't remember i think it was you only who said i will never go for divorce and i wish you don't because its a very stern step in life but please take your decisions as the more you delay the more you will hurt yourself and the kids ,if you stay well and good by the GODS GRACE but my friend make sure if you don't once you have decided everthing come back to your parents first be in safe hands and file a proper case for divorce along with your share of money for kids or atleast a life time support for children let him not get away he is not a bachelor is married man and this will teach him lesson adn to his family too that they will not repaet this type of a n attitude in future.. aith anyone else..
I WISH THIS LAST TIME TRY WILL HIT AND YOU GET ALONG WELL IN YOUR INLAWS PLACE, AND THAT THEY TREAT U BETTER.

KEEP US INFORMED ALL THE BEST isha replied. hi ssi,
feld realy very sad for u, how is yr child now.sorry to say but yr in law s r very hard hearted,they dint even come and c yr baby whenyr baby was in hospital.
and for yr husband never in any indian family ladies go for there 2nd delivery to there parents place,think these people r taking u for granted.
u talk clearly to yr husband and make it clear to him ,tell him that its yr life and now he is a father no more a child to his parents.
u try to get a job.
find some good day care where u can put yr children.
and then as pooja said show those stupid people that u can stand alone then get out of that house.
then ask yr hubby to select between his parentsand u.
hope u get some good solution from other friends too.
best of luck Pooja replied. Hi,
I felt so sad after reading ur mssg.I hadn't read ur first mssg. Now from what i understand, you have 3 options.
1)The first being getting a divorce( i know its not easy )if he is really that insensetive towards your kids that is. How can you trust this guy? He is completely being brainwashed by his parents. Don't say that u don't need his money. You have to take his money to raise his kids atleast till you get a job.Its a bad world out there. You need to save for their future also. Don't expect any other support from him. This option would work only if u have complete & unconditional support from ur family members atleast till u settle.
2) The second option u have is Go to his house for time being. Slowly start working & get out of his house. You have to alert his relatives. Let the elders of his family confront them.
3)Since u said that he won't listen to any of your talks., u just go there on ur own & serve his stupid parents until they die & hope for the best atleast after they die.
Whatever happens, dont even think of suicide( read ur first mssg).
I hope u make the right decision.
Regds,
Poo