Relationships  Discussion Forum

Does anyone pls help me to know why my husband (the elder son) behaves so immaturely. He is on a manager post in the office. Manages his work independent at office. But after marriage i observe that he behaves like a 7-year kid before his parents and very UNDECISIVE like he doesn't have any worldly knowledge. I saw him very much dependable on his mother & father. He ask things from them let it be any issue. Small, big personal u name it and he will ask from them. He is never committed to anything and changes his decisions saying I am not sure if i should do it this way. To the worst he will come and ask something how should i do this even tiny thing which he have been doing for years. Pls help as i am a mature person and seek support from my husband like any wife. But he never support me due to his nature and whatever i suggest is never accepted by his parents and they always tell him opposite. I FEEL LIKE HE DOESN'T OWN ME, he treats me like any other member and behaves independently without thinking a 30 YEARS MARRIED MAN. PLS HELP. ritika replied. well i hope i am not late in replying, but i would like to mention, i had the similar problem. I still face the same but little less now. how i reduced was, i tried hard to explain him, but he never understood, so i convinced him to visit a counsellor. well i was also ready to take change if it was my fault. but the cousellor, explined so nicely to my husband what i wanted to explin and see the result. atleast we dont ask for small opinion form my inlaws. ( ya his sis is a doc, so like a kid he still goes for appoonintments or xrays with his sis only. but that is small). the big things have resolved. i thought we will go for another session but i guess its not needed now. try it might work bubly replied. Hi Priya and DIL,

Thanks for your responses.

Well i am trying to change him by telling him indirectly that he should take decisions, but it really hard at times and I got irritated at times.

Dear DIL can u send me the link of the article u mentioned. I could get it. Thanks. Priya replied. Sorry to hear about your problem. But you must know, this is not such an uncommon situation.

Many of my friends also have husbands such as the one you have. Even my own father is somewhat like this.

I believe you should make your concerns known to your husband. Men don't really perceive that we women sometimes are annoyed at their seemingly careless behaviour, so we must let them know in order to rectify the situation.

Good luck with everything. DIL replied. I am almost in the same boat. I know what you are going through. I can only say, just try to analyze your hubby's behavior and try to change him accordingly so that he can become decisive & mature. Try to present your views in such a way that he can not say no. He should trust you & your opinions, only then you will be able to convince him.

And I would strongly recommend you to read \";diamond's message\"; under \";Role of in-laws - need your help\"; dated 2005-04-05. Your problem is pretty similar to the problems posted by other ladies under that topic.

Wish you good luck.