Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello everyone,

I need help with things I can talk about with my in-laws. Due to my fear and uneasyness with them, I cannot be myself and talk openly. Which leads to me saying minimal to hardly nothing to them. This leaves a huge gap between us, uncomfortable silence, misunderstanding. I just want to make sure that they can feel comfortable saying things to me and that I can make simple converstaions with them, so that there isn't uncomfortable silence between us.

The lack of communication is causing problem, where my mil will start yelling at me for nothing, fil will think I said something with an attitude when all i ask is what did you have for lunch?

My husband doesn't say much, but his parents make him feel like your wife is not treating us well and we are not comfortable in your home. This is all because I am unable to have good converstaions with them. Because house-work wise and taking them places and getting them stuff, I take care of it all and there are no issues there. but this communication is what is causing trouble.

Please help me. I just want a happy, peaceful family. All things I do to make them happy queitly is of no meaning to them since I do not talk. Please help me.

Anxiously waiting for responses. seema replied. Hi,
I too was in a same boat sometime back. As during the intial years of marriage my relationship with them was not good I was turned off with them . I had nothing to talk .. or nothing to hear. But then I decided whatever said and done they are his parents ! I didnt want to take their curses and so changed my attitude !
I think the first problem is what to speak . We donot want to bring up anytopic which will result in any rude remarks or arguments .. So pick up safe topics
1) Discuss the weather .. how hot it is .. how cold it is etc etc ..
2) Talk abt some function u attended ..or party u attended and describe the whole thing !
3) If u have kid .. talk abt his school
4) talk abt some relative (who is not close to u or her)
5) When she is talking .. Nod ur head in all directions as if u are most interested in her topic and pick up some topic from there and continue.
6) Discuss some news Item (Prince who fell in to a pit or some political stuff ) . hope u hear news !!
Hope this was of some help !

Thanks,
Seema