Relationships  Discussion Forum

I find it a bit absurd to sound like a preacher taht i had given suggestions about ignoring inlaws to lead a understandable married life.i had written from my experiences.i fully agree that this is better possible with the support of husband but in cases where the husband is nonsupportive i think the DIL should be more smarter that is be nice to the people who are troubling her in front of her husband and when he is not there then ignore,see the main idea is to keep yourself in a better state of mind and it can be done if you take a stand.i can also say that this suggestion would also not help in some cases but yes worth trying,well once again i want to repeat that iam not a preacher it is just that i was going thru this column and found that so many ladies were going thru the problem which once my wife had faced.all the best anyway Pari D replied. Hope my husband also learns something!!
But I know he wil not. Only God can show him the right path.
Ritika replied. Hi Rajeev,

I have forgotten how you sounded like in your first mail..because right now you sound like a very concerned husband and a very nice man who is willing to go the extra mile to make his wife feel better...:)

take care... kiran replied. I always tried to keep control over me.when my mil came from india to visit me, i was keeping in my control till than.but it became too much when she wanted to rome around usa , when my mom was struggling for her life in india, i didn't want to join mother and son in their trip.And my hubby too wanted me to give company for her.And she wanted to me to cook chicken , even though i refused, since my mom was in emergency.and i lost control shouted at her.you know it is not that easy to control over you in this kind of situation.She will make face even when my hubby will buy stuff of $5 for me.And can you believe she wants victoria secret bra and panty (at age 65)b'coz i wear that brand!!.All jealousy.what to do?.how to control?.I try pamparing her showing lots of love in begining, and she took more advantage of it.it is like give your finger to taste,she will try to swallow whole hand.Now i just talk with her casually on phone, just to keep relation.and i have forgiven her for the situation she created for washing my husbands brain for separating us, simply b'coz she has given her son to me by marrying her son.Account is clear.Sad part is husband doesn't realise.but that is ok.otherwise hard to believe on relationship & she will get her karma for doing that.Try to talk as less as you can..avoid being around them as much as possible..this is the only one option which gave me peace. Jyoti replied. Thanks Rajeev. I'm glad that you supported your wife. It's definately a huge help.

Ignoring only goes so long for me, because the more the ignore the more it eats me up inside. because i see them as my parents too, and when i see disappointed look on my in-laws face in everythign i do, it upsets me.
I dont' have much to complain about, have good husband, have very open relationship with him. my in-laws are good people, they just don't like anything i do and still see me as an outsider. My husband isn't around, so for little time that he's home i hate to bother him with small things that bug me.
So although I can hold the fort down and carry on my life with my-laws, it just hurts to see that no matter what i do, they aren't pleased with anything. And every now and then I get a comment like 'we are scared to live with you' can't live with you -- when i do everything i can to make them comfortable. just hurts...