Relationships  Discussion Forum

God has not made joint families, Human beings have made....and the main contributors to the parasite like joint families are people like my MOM-IN-LAW who belive that everyone should live toghether...and make the life of DIL miserable and hamper mental peace. Believe a highly independent girl like me who is so much individuaistic, is in a fear \"; i wish i dont suffer from identity crisis, belive me i feel i have no voice at all.......what to do life has become a hell because of MIL who interferes in alomost everything and we have no personal life at all and believe mu husband does not understand this....what to do, where to go i dont understand.....its so painful.....i have started working for 14 hours in order to stay away from home, i hate weekends can u believe......others of my age wait for weekends.....no proper sleep restlessness, helplessness, someone please help me.....give me a solution or a cousellors number or email id i am deeply in need of help... sandhya replied. Lakshmi,
Life is too short to sit & worry about your MIL.At home act like she doesn't exist at all.And with the husband talk very nicely & ofcourse praise his mother in front of her or behind her, even though you hate to do that..you know sometimes we need to be cunning & smart to pull our husband in our side.
And as deepa suggested, instead of working in office or home, bring hobbys in your life, build up some hobbys even though you don't have any.I would strongly suggest you to do meditation too.it helps alot how to handle people in every day life.and these MIL are selfish..b'coz they think they bought their son up & it is there turn to enjoy him ..not YOU!!..So we can't change them in this age & they are not going to change too..so act like you bend for her..it's ok..and pamper your self like getting nice cloths,shoes and having stylish haircut,facial every month stuff like that.Hope this suggestion work for you. deepa replied. Hi Lakshmi,
I have gone thru' the same phase. Even i had started hating my week-ends at home as there was no reason to be at home other than fighting.
You have to be very tough. Never ever cry infront of them. They like to see us cry, this makes them very happy.
If they say any word of misbehaving or disrespect then you say \";this is all your imagination\";. Tell them that you are defending yourself as you have nobody for you here. If they take this as disrespect,misbehaving then its thier problem.

Stop complaining abt ur MIL to your husband. Anyway, he is not going to liste...so forget it.

Yeh, initially, this all hurts you very much as you cant open yourself to your husband.

Istead of working late hours in office, try to attend a hobby classes like trice a week or so. This will give you immense satisfaction.

During week ends go out with your hubby...like plan for a movie or outings...surprise him with gifts. Initially, he will not like this idea, he may criticise you for doing this but he should get the message that you care for him and you are there in that house just for him. Sometime ask your husband to plan some outing with the whole family...not to any relatives place but for some fun.

For you, the most imp is your husband...forget abt ur MIL,FIL. They'll never be happy with you, specially MIL.

All the very best.

Deepa. shayna replied. There are few options for such problems,stop and take a stand for yourself,silently wait so that it doesn't hamper your karma and in the process lead an unhappy life and lots of fights with your hubby,spend all your life in the office and increase your hours by another 10 hrs making it 24 hours and many more.....

Which one do you want to choose.???

When there is nobody to support you,you are all alone in this fight,there is only one person who can save you from this torture you yourself.

People always love to torture only those people who bear things silently ,never will they trouble those who fire back.Observe it yourself and face your fears.

All the best.