Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have been crying since this morning without any shoulder to lean over. I want some one who can feel my pain and understand me. I just cant vent out. Hopefully, writing my heart out will help me to vent and feel better. I left my family and everything and came to US 8 yrs ago for my husband. Today I am all alone as my husband is not the same person now that I married 8 yrs ago. He is a nice person and loves me a lot but he never respected my family and is verbally abusive. I love him a lot too. So why do I have to be a victim of his impatience and verbal abuse. He even hit me yeterday when I was trying to save my son (2.5 yrs old) from him. He was beating the kid because the poor kid was talking too much when he was watching a movie. He thrashed him on bed. My son got some bruises on his neck as well, he started beathing fast and I got worried because he has Asthma. I just asked my son if he was okay and the hell broke, mu husband started beating himself, started abusing me, my family and even hit me. Why do I deserve treatment like that???? This morning he threw another tantrum in the morning by accusing me for not making dinner last night. He abused my father at that time..I can never tolerate this. His mother was in the kitchen last night. When she is in the kithen…she does not let me wander around by her behaviour. She does not like me at all. I always try to be nice to her, but she is not going to change. Kids were cranky so I took them upstairs. He was not talking to me anyway, If I would have asked him for dinner I knew that he would have misbehaved me in front of his parents.

I am educated and helping him out equally with finances. What is he doing to help me out? He does not help me out with anything at home. He is making the things worse for me. On top of that I have deal with his mother who is living with us. She never leaves any opportunity to make sarcastic comments on my parenting skills and on whatever I do. I have to deal with her mood swings….It’s just too much …I just cant live like that. I want to end my life but then I think of my two beautiful kids (2.5 yrs and 6 months old) that I love more than anything else in this world. They are anything and everything to me…and because of them I am going to keep myself alive. They are my reason to live in this world. I have to live for them and raise them to become good human beings.

I am in a dilemma right now…and my problem is that I just cant live like that. I want to terminate my marriage but I don’t think I have courage to take the action and at the same time I think of my kids..I am not sure if this is the right thing to do. But no body knows that I am dying every moment with the situation right now…Oh God…Please give me a lot of strength and courage so I can raise my kids alone or make things better for me…I don’t need any money from any one…I just need my kids….

Someone please help me ….I just don’t know what to do…
Aruna replied. Hi,
I read your post and am very moved by your words. Form your post I can makeout that your are caring sensible and educated lady who knows to behave well in adverse situations. Every one has some or other problems in life... Dont think that you are alone...
Every single lady will hve some problem in her married life. Dont think of things like ending life... Just to give you an example, I have a house maid at home who is 18 years cheated by her husbend has 2 year old son. She works all the day and earns for him and sending him to good school.
You and me being educated and having financial stibility are lot batter than the lot. What actually makes you take all this is your love towards your hubby and children.
But I want ot insist that if that place is not suitable for your kid to be raised in free and fair environment, then you should get out. I dont think that it is any tough for you. It is just your mindset. Once you win that things will automatically fall in to place and I think in US it is lot batter than what it is in India. You can easily rise your kids.
THink in all directions. Do you think it is good for yur kids to be raised in a kind of environment where dad beats, ganny and mom fights and dad beats mom?
Or you think its batter to raise them alone. You can only bare this if you can see some hope that some thing will change some day or if you get used to it....
Be bold and think and remember, you are the best udge for your situation. I know only about what you wrote in the post... But what is happening day to day in your life, u only know batter.
Talk to your hubby and tell him what is going on in your mind. Make him understand that he and u ahve a big responsibility towards kids...
Hope you will take a right step in life...All the best