Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,After reading so many posts even i started to keep a distance from my inlaws.i know very well that it is just not going to make any diffrence to them and may be if i start talking to them they might start taking an advantage of me again but somewhere in my conscience i feel that however cunning my motherinlaw is old IAM I SPOILING MY KARMAS BY NOT TALKING TO HER OR NOT HELPING HER AS I USED TO DO IN THOSE EARLIER TROUBLED TIMES??.i also fear that once i show my helpful nature she would start misusing me so what should i do to ignore her or to be close and helpful to her.Actually i have tried to be helpful for a number of times but when her behaviour turns hostile and the humiliation starts i feel depressed,pl. help me.DOES ONE PERSONS ILLFEELINGS CREATE NEGATIVITY OR UNLUCK TO THE OTHER PERSON?Iam scared Preeti replied. You are NOT spoiling your karma when you defend yourself and your soul from bitterness, depression and anger. When you allow yourself to be victimised, then yes, your karma will add a notation maybe that you need to learn how to stand up for yourself...just kidding...

You seem like a very nice and soft hearted person. Just do not let people like your MIL take advantage of you...When somebody behaves wrongly, and you do not say anything against it, it is in fact encouraging the other person in their behavior. I think God will in fact be happy with you if you learnt to defend yourself against your MIL.

Do you remember what Krishna told Arjun in the mahabharat war?

You should always stand up for a right and just cause...and even though it would be difficult to stand against your brothers, but if the cause is just then that is what you need to do...

If Arjun had not fought back Kauravs aggression (by saying that he might spoil his karma by doing or saying ANYTHING against them)...would that have been the right thing?

About another person's negativity affecting you...all I have to say is that when a person wishes ill for another, it comes back to themselves. I have never seen a good hearted person being affected negatively by somebody else's 'aah' or 'baddua'. It is always the person who exuded the negative feelings that suffered in the end...

So please do not be troubled because you are not suffering as much as you were before...be happy and live a happy life with your husband and family...

All the best! kuntala replied. No, you don't have to stay away from your ils just because you read some posts on the board.

It is said in the Gita, that one should not torture oneself to please or hurt anybody. So u dont have to feel guilty for anything regarding your mil.

\";DOES ONE PERSONS ILLFEELINGS CREATE NEGATIVITY OR UNLUCK TO THE OTHER PERSON?\"; What do you mean ? Do you mean cursing ? All, I can say if a person has ill feelings he will surely get cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure etc etc. But it wont bring unluck to the other person. So better be positive. elena replied. Hi dear,
personaly me i think that if you are nice with mother in law, if you help her, if you show her your respect - never, never something nagative or unluck will come or go over you. God see everything - be sure in this. Just be yourself - your mother in law will appreciate everything good you do for her.
Take care
Elena asdf replied. NO NOT AT ALL.