Parents of Teens  Discussion Forum

Hi All

I am having a very troubled time. Hope somebody can help me. My teen daughter (15yrs) is giving me a really hard time. First of all she never shares anything. I try a lot to talk to her. But she just lies or makes up stories. And every time I trust her I regret it. One day I found a letter from a guy in her notebook. I confronted her But she did not give me any reply. I thought I should just give her a warning. She is a kid and she has done a mistake.It's ok now she won't do it again. But then after few days I found a facebook account where she chats with I don't know how many people(some of them not even from her school). Then I told her not to touch ipad and phone. But she is not bothered. She never listens. Never replies back. I don not know from where does she get the clever ideas. She hid a old phone in her study room with an old sim. And she was using it without anyone's knowledge till we found it.I have tried everything from talking to her to scolding her. Now she has also started stealing money from my purse. I don't know what she does with that money. As there is no school canteen. And kids are not allowed to go out of school. And my husband drops and picks her from school. Please somebody tell me how should I handle her. If I confront her she does not reply me. Thats the most saddening part. Kids are kids. They make mistakes but if you tell them they learn. They listen to you. But with her it's like she is not bothered what we say. She knows we will say things for some time and then after some time things will become normal till next time she gets caught. Gauri replied. Hi Ak, these days teens are not in control and lead their life as per their wish which is totally wrong. Its very important to keep them under high security which keeps them protected. NN replied. See no matter what you say she is going to do what she wants to so let her learn from her own mistakes but also take care that she does not do anything that will cost her entire future or life for a matter of fact. NN replied. The more you try to restrict her in order to protect her, the more she will run after that exact thing. You can leave her as she is and let her mature and understand but that can also lead to serious damage of her future. Ashna replied. Teenage is a very difficult phase. It can make or break your child'd entire future so be very careful before doing or saying anything. In this phase kids think that their biggest enemies but that phase eventually passes as they grow up. Sakshi replied. Don't worry she is just growing up and will eventually get mature with age and time and let it happen that way otherwise the problems will only increase and then it will get difficult to handle things in the future then. NN replied. This is a typically normal teen phase she is going through. Don't put restrictions on her because more the restrictions the more she will lie to you and get out of your hands. Take care with what you do with the situation. yogesh replied. hi, i suggest you discuss this issue with your husband, definately you both will do best try to help your daughter and you both will bring good result from that. try to find out whats going on her mind eveerytime, why she need money in this age.it will help you, best luck tanvi replied. hi, handle this situation very carefully, she is just 15 year old and in that age kids are ready to accept what everyone teach them, they are not in stage to find out what is right? and what is wrong? so you should help her to come our from that situation, so keep patience rubi replied. hi AK, i read your problem, and i tell you kids have so sensitive mind, so solve your problem very carefully, just give your daughter more attension and extra care, she need your love and time riya replied. hi, your problem is little beat serious, but dont get upset AK, try to develope friendship with your daughter, spend more time with her as much you possible. Mala replied. Hi AK,
So you are having the problem with the teens what can you do to solve the issue because people are thinking very smart and they grasping it in as easy way only so i would suggest you to control them.Then you can solve to some extent. Malhotra replied. Hello AK,
I can understand your concern but you need to chose the path which will solve your problem.Dealing to kids must be very sensitive if we behave in hard manner they will never listen to us we need to deal them in patience in smooth way. Mani replied. Hello AK,
So you need to get know the mental status of your daughter then after only you can take the decision accordingly.You just slowly try to change her thoughts so that she will move in good way also. No Name replied. Hello Ak,
It is the problem of age factor and it is the age effect and we need to take care of guide of children and we need to follow up them also repeatedly because there will not be any stable to their mind. Preethi replied. Hello AK,
It is the age where mind of teen agers will not have any stability.So parents especially mothers need to look after their daughter or son who ever it is.At this age they will not know good and bad and we need to explain with patience to them. hena replied. please talk to he in polite way and build a trust about you and her mom with her so she could tell you all things without hesitation. payal raval replied. Hi AK! Must indeed be very worrisome for you. Does your daughter have friends and are you good friends with their moms/dads? I would advice that you speak with them to monitor your daughter's acitvities. Similarly, you should speak to your daughter's teacher to see how she behaves in class and who her friends are and whether there are any other complaints in school (I am constantly in touch with my kids' teachers via PTA meetings and other interactions @ their school - and this way I get to keep track of their behaviour). Why dont your lock your purse in your cupboard and keep the keys with you at all times? Try monitoring the activities on your home ip and do all of thos covertly. Once you discover to what extent your daughter's activities are, thn you can see as to what needs to be done.