Relationships  Discussion Forum

from start only realtions with my hubby werent so good but i loved him though arranged marraige it cont earlier days when in indai wth inlaws it was abt my not giving my salary when that issue was solved than issues of my parents taht they told us this yu are taht n so though nothing on dowry part ,than everyother day tiff on what are yu wearing are these the clothes things passed came over to canada it started ok but in few days was even asked to laeve home in this unknowcountry without money on the fight that my parents dint give his parents address of a person coming here(where as it wasnt the case my father dunt know the address n my mother wasnt around who knew )things settled .i kept ctc with my inlaws though my fil never replied me back even when i wished him inspite of the fact that the fooght wth me whe leaving india when i wanted to take jewellery my parents gave me thinking i would give my parnts at airport .they even blessed me when i left.small rifts kept n now 5yrs have gone day by day worse.last to last went to indai they were good as were in process of finding a bride for my bil things good here too we were planning for his marraige n many decided what to give him,marraige got finalized during that process one day deciding back in canada what to give him i said atlaest we should give sil on mu dekai a gold set my husband hit me many times saying i was dividing there family.it was very difficult for me to overcome as i was never beaten by anybody but once he asked pardon i forgot.during that process got preagnant things were good he invited my mummy to help us as his mother busy in marriage prep.at first very good wth my mummy once my son was born his behaviour changed n was trying to find tiff wth me .my mother never interferred instaed use to guide me to keep my husband happy .one day on putting garabage there was fight as during pregnanacy he did .i felt bad as i still was weak as had premature baby but did it wth mummy who said pls keep quite on matter i was feeding my son when i stood over me nsaid whats the matter as while doig garbage i had lost alittel bit n said i can do my work no help required from anybody .but when he stood overhead i kept quite he satrted abusing me n said now 40days over do yr own work when i d kept quite he was over me to say something when now in anger said i can do my work he became more absuive n hit me n during taht time my mummy also came around n couldnt stand my beating so intervened n also hit him back so situtaion got worse n finally she had to leave us .that hurt me but i kept little aloof from my hubby so as to give me some time to calm down but he fought n used abusive language on one pretext or other n the same thing of beating now punches on my head n neck taht if i wouldnt have stopped him he might have killed me (this was done as asked money while we were going to india for his brothers marraige .i left wth nio mony n had to buy for mysel;f n my son on my own in indai though this time i became alittel hard n used my credit card besides help from my parents n sister.now te problem is that i have lost faith in him n no longer love him besides now is jealous as i am at home wth my son on my holidays as here in canada yu get 1yr paid holidays on giving birth though thats 55% of yr previously earned salary.he thinks i am enjoying at home though i do all household get grocerries in this cold weather going in snow on foot or bus.i am so musch disturbed by his beatings that i now am losing respect of myself in my eyes so cant have any physical relations for time beign as all things come fresh in my mind so he is feeling lonely n wants to end the realtions also because now i am strong in my feelings n stopped any realtoons with his family though never interfere in his realtions wth them also what i dont want like or want is peak up he is stillvery abusive uses bad language.i on one sidewant to end it but want to try to for my son sake so let me know hat to do.pls reply back immediately.as he has done his homework on divorce though wants me to giev a try but not for my sons sake but for his.pls reply back LA replied. If you love him, and he is willing to try to change, go to marriage counseling. If he continues to hit you with or without counseling, you have to leave for the sake of yourself and you child. If your child sees this behavior it will hurt his future more than being with the father would help him.

I know it is not common to go to counseling but nor is it common to get a divorce so maybe your should try it. You have someone who is not biased to listen and interfere in the issues you are both having with each other.

Divorces sometimes need to happen. Even when you thought marriage would be happily ever after or that you would life all your life together, it isn't always best for anyone. You had an arranged marriage, it isn't working too well.

Even if it ends in divorce, you have the rest of your life to live for you and your son. Your son will still have a father, if your husband does the right thing. If not, your son still has your love and the love of his grandparents and friends etc.

Good luck to you. and pls do not allow yourself to be abused any longer no matter what. Sun replied. Instead of putting up with all this,
please get a life of ur own.
U need not tolerate any such behaviour from ur husbands side. Such people will never chnage how much ever love and affection u show towards them. No males have the right to physically or menatlly torture their partner. How can u ever put up with all this. Your parents have given u all u need, so be confident u can survive in any part of this world.
beleive me such people will never change, how much ever chance u give them.
Whts the guarantee that he wudn't hurt ur baby in the future, when he can do that to U??
I'm sure ur parents too will never have any peace of mind as s long as u stay with such character.
Better to live alone.