Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I am 3 months pregnant,married for 5 yrs now live in US.ours was love marriage.I have and still am facing troubles from my in-laws and my husband.my in-laws r in India only brother-in-law is here just moved out.they have always filled my husband's ears with lies,last year we came to point of divorce but some how reconciled.my husband always supports whatever they do for him they r most important people in his life i mean nothing and even now recently he again told me that i should leave him and abort the baby.now when i am pregnant i constantly think that something bad should happen to them and i have negative thoughts in my mind for them,beleive me i am trying hard to avoid such thoughts but it is impossible,i know it'll effect my baby and i don't want that to happen how can i stop these thoughts and can anyone tell me what negative effects will this have on my baby. a victim replied. Hello:

After reading your story, I felt very sad, because i was on the same boat. I have even lot bigger issues with my husband then urs. Trust me, please don't take any decisison on breaking marriage at this time, when u r pregnant don't be with him. Our parents and lot of people advise us to be with husband, by seing you and your belly they think husbands change and start loving us. That is not true in all the cases. When you are pregant u become emotionally depressed and starts depending on some one else. If your husband is kind, he will change and gives u support. Otherwise, like mine they starts taking advantages of our motherhood feelings and mood swings. My husband is a sadist, whenever his mood is not good for whatever reason, he started hurting, behaving like animal with no love for baby or me. Inlaws gets scared and they think your husband is getting closer to u and they starts playing more games. Unnecessarlly your child will be suffering in between u and ur husband. You may lose interest in pregancy and may feel like dying or aborting baby. This is what happened in my case. Please go to your parents place as soon as possible, otherwise bring your parents to your place. If you really wants him to know how much sacrifice you are doing being a mother for his baby, be with him on the last moments of preganncy and during delivery. I regret my self every second for being with unkind and ruthless husband during very important days of my preganancy. Wish you all the best for your preganancy.
j replied. hello,

i thought these men would be ok in a love marriage, but i guess when it comes to their parents and their family all men are the same, if u r not happy with ur marriage then i guess its better u move out of it, no point in continuing the same way, but i know being an indian we girls think twice before taking that step cos we dont want to hurt our parents right!!!!!
i would suggest u to be strong first of all, thats the only key, the moment u show people that u r strong and u give importance to urself, they feel that no more u care for them nor their words would effect u any more, start concentrating more on urself and ur growing child, if u want that child dont abort, be strong dear, start reading magazines, ur hobby can keep u occupied, be strong and never care for any words which hurt u,

bestof luck
take care