Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,

i keep on reading problems on this board. today myself i have a problem.i have good in laws who are caring and loving.hubby is also sweet, understanding and nice but what is a pain in my life is my SIL.she is elder to my hubby so she thinks she has righ to say anything to any one.

One big problem is that she demands from my in laws for small small things..By god grace she has also been married in a good family but still she demands from both sides and my MIL keeps on fulfilling her foolish demand whether its jewellary , clothes for her kids, or any other thing.
In the beginning i didnt mind, i thought if parents are happy in giving then why should i say anything, but when my MIL says that after them its me and my hubby who have to do things for her since she is the only daughter n sister of my hubby i get irritated...y does my MIL expect from us.We will do what we want she dosent need to tell us.

I bugged up with her kids also.She dosent know how to handle children.when she came to our house my room was always in a mess cause i used to go for work.her daughter used to play in my room and mess it. Atleast she could have stopped her daughter..but no...its sooo irritating.if my child does something like this when i go to someone place even they will feel bad na????My MIL dosent say anything to my SIL because she comes once a year,but atleast she can say something to her daughter....

I told this to my hubby,he understood but said that what can be done.Sometimes you need to adjust...so i should not take things to heartand boil my blood.
Sometimes i feel that my SIL will brainwash my MIL aganist me...i try my best to mainain cordial relations with MIL but this daughter comes in between..obviously she loves her more but if my MIL listens to her then it might create problems within us.im very upset. Tony S replied. Dear tense,
I can understand how u feel. There are 2 things. Firstly if your SIL comes to your house only once in a year then u can tolerate her and her daughter's behaviour. But if she comes often, say once a month and startes behaving like this then some joint action from u and your hubby is reqd. Secondly your MIL feels insecure that after them u and your hubby may not care for her at all. This is common for any mother. You need to help her overcome her fears by praising your SIL for her good things (eg. she might be a good cook or a good singer etc.). This way slowly your MIL will know that u do not exactly hate her or dislike her. SO steadily with the passing years if you keep this consistent, then your MIL will stop instructing u and your hubby to buy things for her. Also by then you will have a family of your own. So obvioulsy SIL will also have to gift your kids etc. whenever she comes. So dont worry , take it easy and patiently, dont get tensed, you will spoil your health and belive me it is not worth it. All the best.