Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi girls,

im very depressed nowdays.dont know with whom to share so thought of writing it on net.

my sister in law is a great pain. she comes once a year to our place but life becomes hell for me.Mother in law feels nice that daughter is here,but she needs to understand that her son is also settle now.Sister in law keeps on interfering on small things and dictates me as in how to do work.She thinks my husband is a servant and still keeps on bulling him and making fun of him without realizing that now his brother is married.Not that she speaks badly to me,but pokes in our life.She has two daughters and the elder one is soooooo pampered and spoiled.Whenever she comes to our house in summers she just wants to be given a VIP treatment from everyone.All money is spend by my father in law.if she consider herself as a guest,then be like a guest,y she needs o interfering in all our household matter.

when my husband comes from office, her daughter wants to play with her \";MAMA\"; not realizing that he has come tired. nowdays i dont even get enough time to speak to my hubby, cause im sooooo busy with work.if she is daughter its ok,but where is it that when u come to your parents house you just become a burden.i dont expect her to work in hose,but atleast she should not interfere.
If i complain my hubby he will think that i dont like his sister.he also dosent understand.Mother in law and Father in law are also emotional fools.Though they r always nice to me,i dont have any ill feelings till now for them.
She will go in some time,but im sooooo irritated that my relation with my MIL will get spoiled because she dosent say anything to her daughter.
plez help. how much can i ignore?????
Nishant replied. Hi Abc,
I think there is nothing to add as Shwetas answers are very good. The only thing I disliked was you calling your MIL/FIL emotional fools. FYKI they are not. They are just natural parents.
Regards.
Nishant. abc replied. hi shweta,

thanks for telling me all this.i myself relize it that my SIL comes for some time to meet her parents and that she should be treated with love and affection. But when she bosses me on my work and tries to point out minute mistakes then i dont like it.If MIL says something its ok,but MIL is fine and is she feels something she tells me and i get the hint.My SIL dosent understand my relation with MIL.She Thinks mummy pampers me cause im only daughter in law.now tell me what should i do. i have my own understanding with MIL...she should not bother.so she bosses on me which i dont like. shweta replied. just one question???
You say that she is interfering,in what way is she,the only thing I have see from your post is that everybody in your house gives her more attention when your sil comes home.
When you go to your house isn't it the same situation.I mean don't your parents
pamper you too.
If your hubby doesn't have a problem with the bullying then I really don't understand why it should bother you.
I have a friend she cam and started complaining to me that when she had gone to India to visit her parents and in-laws (her sil and herself are settled in U.S)
her sil couldn't bear the heat and just for her ,her in-laws got a new airconditioner home and fixed it for her comfort.
When this same friend goes to her home she is pampered in a much bigger way by not only her parents but also her relatives,that also she boasts as to her parents did gave her this and that and at the same time she was putting her sil and her in-laws down.

In your case you also say that your in-laws do not trouble you at all ,and your sil is their daughter after all,you can't try to keep their daughter from visiting or mingling with them freely .

BUT if she dominates you and tells you how you should do the work then that is not right on her part,you can very clearly tell her that in no uncertain terms.
The next time she does that ask her help then in one way she is also doing the work and and you get to finish your work faster.
When she starts bossing you around,just tell her hey cud you help me with this work in front of everyone with a smile,she won't be able to refuse.

In my house its just the opposite its the other way around.

Anyways all the best .Please don't take this in the wrong sense.