Relationships  Discussion Forum

My In-laws are settled in Bangkok and they all live in Joint Family, My husband is youngest of 3 brothers so his parents are very much attached to him, and after seeing his 2 elder sis-in-laws he never wanted to marry a Indian Girl, but his parents forced to marry me. i as a new bride went there with dreams in my eyes and expectations to get love and support from my in-laws, but my mother in law starting taking out all her frustuations on me, i was never allowed to touch any food coz then i am over eating and this food is brought by my father in law and not my husband and my husband says that they are absolutely RIGHT, he buy extra milk and juices for me, my husband never supported as he was afraid of hurting his parents and is brain washed by his parents that if he will give support or love to me than i can also become \";INDEPENDENT\"; like his 2 other daugter-in-laws, whenever me and my Husband wants some privacy and wants to go out together his parents also joined us, they insulted me everyday to dominate me. if i feel low or my face shows depression than they insult me that they hate those people who are always sitting with stupid faces, i cried everyday..every moment, i don't want to loose my husband as he is very nice person, i want to save my marriage, i have reached to conclusion that i will never ask anything from them, if he wants to spend time with his parents and not me i will never ask for it, if his parents or family will ignore me and insult me i will keep quiet because my speeking hurts my husband and his make his parents complain about me.. AM i on right track, what shall i do? S M replied. Its really sad to hear about your plight.First of all are you working???
What about your husband,is he working????

If anyone of you are working then I think half the problem is solved.The next thing is if you are not working then you must get a job anything even if it is in the call centre.DO IT.Later you can switch your career .

The third thing is it is time to get your husband into confidence.Tell him everything.One most important thing is never ever get scared or sad.The moment they see that they have achieved their goal of hurting you these people get a very big satisfaction and they feel that they can do anything to you.

If your husband does not believe you ,ask him why he got married, to get you and hurt you for no fault of yours????
Ask him to stand in your shoes for just a moment and think if you hadn't believed what he said how would he feel.????

Now about your in-laws.
Do not cry ,be bold.The moment they see you being confident ,they get a little scared ,even if they don't show it to you,they will be taken aback.

Now for your MIL,whenever you can just try this ok,when she tells you something horrifying , you know when nobody is there,turn back look at her straight in the eye and smile,as if you know what her intention is.Just do it she might get taken aback.She will be surprised.

I am telling you this b'coz this might help you get back your confidence that you can surprise them.

Believe me the first time its going to be difficult ,but when you know that there is no other alternative you are going to stand up for yourself.

Remember when you lead a sheltered life with your parents ,there is one thing that our parents never tell us this day of our life where we have to stand for ourselves.

Try to get a job,it will also help you in getting lots of confidence and time away from your in-laws,and when you come back home you will be soooo tired that you may automatically tell them to go to hell.


You have to let your husband know what is happening to you.


Above all if your husband believes you good for you

All the best You are going to be fine.
take care of yourself.

Always remember never get scared.If you have seen, the lion only hunts animals that are scared never the elephant.
The same logic applies to humans,you only hurt people who get scared never the confident people.

hello replied. Hi,
I don't know how long you will be able to go like this...
You need to find a way to solve this instead of postponing things..
I dont quite understand the entire situation here.Is your husband financially dependent on his parents to live?.
If the answer is 'yes' then I think you should first try to do something about it.May be trying to convince your husband to get his own earnings to spend for you guys is the right thing for you to do.
If he is not dependent on his parents financially, then I think the best way to deal with this is to talk openly with your husband about how you feel.
Let it hurt him but tell him the truth.
Tell him you would feel good if he just understands exactly how you feel.tell him that is more than enough for if he knows how you feel. then go from there...
good luck