Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi everyone,

I am married and have a lovely6 month old daughter.I am really lucky to have a very loving and caring husband.I have seen a lot of entries in this section of relationship with in-laws and I have my share of problems too. I come from a broadminded and spiritual background.My parents have taught me etiquettes and good behaviour and ethics.My in-laws are very materialistic people,always bothered about property,belongings etc and I feel uncomfortable in involving in the discussions.We live outside India but mostly in touch with our in-laws through internet.Every time they speak to us they would speak of some or other property issues.My sister-in-law also does the same. she would only speak about the things she bought, how much they cost,making queries about what all things did we buy,how much it cost etc..I feel so disgusted that I have stopped talking to them and tactfully avoid getting into any conversation with them by doing some work or looking to my baby's work at the sametime.I leave my husband to speak to them most of the time.My husband has observed my behaviour and asked me why dont I speak to them?I really dont know what to do, I dont want to hurt my husband's feelings,I really want to be good wife, DIL and SIL.I hope some of you might be in similar situation.Please advise.
09824507534 MoNo, replied. u keep started silet with smile.
all problem will be solved.
obey ur husband alsways, either he is wrong or right then definatly u will win. Anu replied. Hi Sumana,

Mita has given excellent advice.I have also been through the same in fact even now going through the same but as Mita said ,i try to change the topic or talk about some thing totally neutral...Also all whenever even remotely financial comes up i pass the phone to my hubby.Also dont let this thing ever coem between you & your husband.I almost let it happen but recovered quickly.Just be open with your husband...so he knows how you feel. I am sure he will appreciate your dilemma..
Hope this helps..all the best..
Anu Mita replied. Dear Sumana,

I am sure every married woman has problems in adjusting with their in-laws. We girls get used to certain way of life and certain way of thinking in our parents' home. After marriage, we are expected to live the way our in-laws live!!
Dont avoid your in-laws all the time. Your husband has already observed it and your in-laws will also realise over time. Talk to your husband openly - tell him you would love to talk to your MIL and SIL but dont feel comfortable discussing property issues or disclosing the price of every item you buy...The next time you get a chance, start a conversation about your baby...everybody knows hoe excited new mothers are about their babies- so you can tell your in-laws how your baby is developing and what new thing she did!! Also talk about non-interesting topics like how you miss relatives and family and festivals and indian food made by MIL (MILs love attention and importance so this works!). If the topic of property issues comes up, just tell your MIL sweetly that you dont understand much about these things so its better if she talks about it with her son!! Also handle your SIL diplomatically - dont mention any new purchases and if she does ask about the price, tell her you forgot!!
Hope this works.....
Mita