Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi ,

I know the problem with in-laws has been discussed so very often. But sometimes it does pay to let out your emotions. so here is my grind

My husband has 2 elder sisters and both of them are married. One of them lives in the US , so do we, and the other lives in canada.
My sister in laws AND their husbands are employed . We do not have any kids. don't ask me y. it just did not happen
I came here on a H-4 but got my work approval and I am also working now. This is where the problem started.

My sister in laws used to call up every week and chat for hours, before I started working. Now they very rarely call. It is fine with me
But nowadays when they call , they ask for money. Money for getting themselves a new car, money for getting their relatives gifts.
When they ask for money they say \"; U give We will give it to you later\";, But that \";tommorrow never comes\";
I am sick and tired of it. I really lost \";it\"; when my husband's Bank balance came to $25 and 50 cents.
Time and again I have been warning him , that this will happen. But many of you reading this know, how our dear hubbies react when we wives tell them , we will go bankrupt if we keep giving money like this to his side of the family.

He has hit me twice because I told him so

But it happened.Now he has to pay his taxes. I do not know what he has planned, But he is bankrupt.When I tell him, ask your sisters atleast now, he says I do not like to ask them.

I completely don't understand why he reacts like this. I know that my MIL encourages her daughters to do what they are doing right now. With her it is another story.

Please advice on how I should behave. I have told my parents about this.
But what can they do??

What can I do???? I am sitting here at work, not being able to concentrate in anything that I do ...


Have any of you who have been reading this undergone the same situation???





rach replied. Who in the world told you that it was ok to let a man hit? Know your self-worth, know that you are in dire need to wake up and smell the coffee, you can't wait for these people to change or to pay you back, they are getting your money and your husband and you will be getting a low credit score. If your husband can't swim above the waters that his parents soo easily threw him in then you will drown too. He can't defend himself, which means he can't defend you either. JointFamily replied. Hi,

This is good situation for managerial and planning skills. My suggestion would be that you plan your month, quarter and years expense needs in advance. This will make him realize that he needs to plan ahead - taxes, house, kids, etc. If possible, maintain your bank balance separately. I had a friend working in WTC, who got killed and family with 2 kids is left behind. Future planning - insurance, savings - is very much required to make things easy for our loved ones. Don't advise him not to give to sisters, make him plan ahead for himself and his family- he will automatically stop giving too much.

He may be mentally disturbed not having kids and hence is giving away. Having kids burdens a lot. You may want to adopt one at home or at least in charity trust. Don't take advise from hubby first, he will refuse. Find some really needy kids in some school and then take your hubby to visit.

If things work out, say thanks to me!

JointFamily. sonu replied. hi,

Same case with me too . even we are staying far from them in malaysia my Sil and my hubby's relatives dont stop asking for money.Money for they kids studies, new flat , festival gifts and all nonsense. we are fed donating money every year.We even used to have fights. now i gv up. many r there in same boat yaar!!!

Crows are always black in India or in US