Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

i want to know how can i train my hubby to act the way i want him to. he does not listen to what i suggest even once thank u replied. thank you juvini,

i liked ur reply very much anu replied. You have only been married for two months. Three to five years from now, you will be in a much better situation. My first year of marriage was the worst year of my life. I was 21 when I got married. My hubby's temper was really bad. I used to cry my eyes out and had no interest in life. I got pregnant and had a baby by our first annivarsary. My husband's temper was so bad that he did not speak to me when I was in labor with my first child. He slept in the same room while I was having pains. I am telling you this because I don't want you to feel like you are alone. Believe me, I have seen the worst.
First of all, you have to make him acknowledge that he has a bad temper and he needs to change it. People cannot change some thing that they do not acknowledge. How does he behave with other people and his family. If he is fine with them and different with you, then there needs to be an attitude adjustment. He thinks that you are here to serve him. Make him aware that you are not intimidated when he gets mad. You should believe that your feelings should be respected. You need not have time to sit and talk. It is also hard to make them sit and talk. Just tell him each time that it makes to sad when he gets mad all the time.
Body language is also plays a big part here. Dont look intimidated by him any time. Be very confident when you are in front of him. When you talk to him, look straight into his eyes.
I truly consider you as my sister. Let me tell you, we women are loving. We are lovable, we are wonderful. We need to be treated with respect. We have the power to transform anything that we touch.
It is good to know that he comes to you after yelling at you. Atleast, he is concerned about you. Follow the tips and have patience. Patience is the key. Like I said, 3 years from now, you will be a happier person.
I wish you the best. anu replied. To start with, it is impossible to make people act the way you want them to. Are you saying that the ultimate decision making in family issues is done by your husband and not you ? If so, there is a way you can make him listen to you. How long have you been married to him ? Truly, it is all about time you spend with him. You have to take him into confidence. Prove with your actions that you really really care about him and there is no one else more important to you than him. It does not mean that you should be obedient to him. Just follow your instincts. Some times, make some sacrifises for him. My hubby is also like a child. It took 5 years of constant work and effort on my part to gain his confidence. Some times, it may seem unfair but believe me, this is the only thing that works. Communication is very important. If he makes you happy, tell him. If he hurts you, tell him. Tell him why you are proud of him. Tell him what you don't like about him. They do not understand a thing if you do not talk.
After all this effort and time, you will find him changed. Hope this helps.