Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have an unmarried sil who is very bossy. She does not allow my husband to pay for anything in the house. And always keeps taunting that we are living under her earnings. She very badly wanted to go abroad and get married. But that is not happening. Since she keeps nit picking and taunting us, myself and husband decided to leave the house. My husband was searching for jobs and he got a very good opportunity abroad. So on the day we decided to leave the house, this sil of mine comes crying, saying that she too will get a job abroad, and we are hurting her by going abroad. She does not allow us to stay at home in peace, nor does she allow us to leave the house in peace. This woman is driving us mad. When we called our widow mil to stay with us, she poisoned mil's mind about me. So mil blasted me very badly and said that she would never come to our house. After we went abroad, mil cries on the fone, saying that she also deserves to be abroad and wants to come and stay with us. She also says that my sil is working very hard in running the house. Who asked her(sil) to run the house? What to say for all the drama that happens at our house ? Anybody having such bossy sils ? JointFamily replied. JointFamily here.

Well, this really blew my mind off! I know some nagging SILs! You did good thing by going away.

Suggestion. Difficult to implement but will work if you are strong person.

Tell SIL that you mean good things for her in life. Explain your problems. (What you wrote on net, why don't you just read it aloud to her!). Tell her that if she continues to do this, her brother and you will continue to distance more from her and won't do any good in long run.
Explain that you want to see MIL happy and these issues will hurt your relationship with her creating problems.
Explain which of her behaviour you think would be best. e.g. Get visa and stay in US (not with you, separately). b. Get marrried first and then come aboard etc.

Your MIL does not seem to be well positioned to take decisions and calls. You need to explain her how her thinking about SIL's importance is affecting all. Assure her that you will stand by SIL, her marriage and settlement if everyone is willing to cooperate.

Don't get MIL aboard for some time, it will create more problems. I am sure she can stay alone. But if hubby starts arguing, assure him that this is only to make her more eager and you will support her in times of need.
Divya replied. You are lucky that u no longer live with ur in-laws. Just ignore them and enjoy ur life with ur hubby:)