Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I have a problem (dont know whether it is a problem or not). I am happily married and things are smooth. The problem is that whenever I am not with my wife, I get a some sort of satisfaction by looking at other sexy women. For example some woman who is wearing tight pants and her panty outline is visible, or having deep cut and revealing cleavage. or things like that. Sight of such things excite me sexually. Though I dont do anything to them and dont want to but it gives me some sort of pleasure to look at them ( I make it very sure that they dont catch me looking at them).

Though I think that this is very natural, I being a male would possibly be attracted by such sexual objects, but i do feel guilt about it since i am married and such a thing wont be liked by my wife. She knows about this habit but says that it is natural and she doesnt get offended by this. But somehow I feel in the corner of her heart she must be getting hurt ( probably she might be feeling low, not able to satisfying me sexually). but that is not the case, we have very good sexual life.

I am not able to get out of this habit, especially when I dont find anything wrong in it personally. If I find some women revealing her panties obviously my mind will force me to look at her.

I want a frank opinion from all ladies or guys here as to whether i am a normal person. Should I be telling this to my wife or should i continue this habit and not tell my wife (which i dont want to do). Here i would like to say that when we were about to marry 2 years back I had told her about this habit of mine.

Any opinions? LA replied. I am female. To me this is completely normal for both sexes to do. My husband finds other women attractive or admires certain things about other women in front of me. I don't mind because I know he loves me and that I am attractive and I don't have to worry about him cheating or anything - it's just looking.

I think telling your wife was a good thing. I always think honesty is the best policy but that usually depends on the person. She seems to have repected your honesty.

Don't worry so much. And if you continue to feel guilty - then stop doing it. Otherwise chill out.

Good luck. Archie replied. Dear Mr. Husband,
Glad that you confess here at least.
No, it's not very wrong to appreciate beauty. They say beauty is in the eyes of beholder.

In stead looking at strange women, however why not to discuss with your wife, confess her attitude and may be try to dress her up like you appreciate the beauty. This way when you get to see what you are attracted at home you won't feel the same anymore outside.

She seems to be understanding as she does not get offended. But continuing with your present habit does not guarantee you will stop here. Try and discuss with your wife about option and see what she likes to follow.

Archie deepa replied. I dont know why men act like dogs, always drooling after some girl. You are married and you should stick to your marriage. looking at other women and thinking about them even is act of cheating. If suppose there were no laws and no social fear you would go beyond looking at them and would want to have sex with the ladies you are looking at. Why is that men are always looking out for sex?

I dont think women like to watch penises of men and stare at their crotches. You need to correct yourself. Raj replied. Dear Mr. Husband,

Please believe that you are absolutely normal. Take it from another male, it is natural. In fact I am certain your wife also appreciates a good male body too. It is commendable of your wife to take it in her stride. We are in a changing environment. Things are moving very fast. The solution is not to focus on this issue. Accept it as matural and make a joke out of it. (Provided you do not extend it beyong just \";noticing\"; the beautiful things in life). Ask yourself - How would I feel if my wife did the same. If the answer is \";no way - I'll blast her\";,STOP at this instant and review your value system. Are you living in 2004 or 1964. If not don't kick yourself. It's completely natural.
Have a Happy Married life. U R LUCKY.

Raj