Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,

To my understanding and experience, a matriarchal family deprives personal growth of the daughters-in-law and their immediate family comprising of her husband and children. In such families, men are dummies and seldom possess an identity of their own and are seldom individualistic. this is not their fault, but the matriarch's. The men are not allowed to decide for themselves. Neither are they able to decide for their immediate family. The matriarch always controls and commands and instructs the men what to do and what not to do for themselves, for the family and for their wives. The daughters-in-law are affected at a large extent due to this. This affects the psyche of the daughters-in-law who have come into the household not to be slaves but an individual and a companion to her husband. this companioinship is deprived of them because of the matriarch. A patriarchal family is not so destructive. Is ther anyone who has to say for or against me? No way replied. As much as you think, you have thought this through. No way.
Whatever negative points you stated all stand true in the patriarchial family for the women in the existance.

I think there need not be matr. or patr. it just needs to be a regular family where son or daughter and their spouses are all treated equal.

I have a matri. family and my grandma made sure her daughterinlaws suffered whereas her sons and daughters were the dominant ones. Even my granny's son in laws were torchered upto an extent.
It doesnt matter who is at the helm as long as every person cominginto the family is treated well.
In that way my parents in law are much normal.
We all have come way to far from one person leading families. It is all to themselves deciding what is good.
elders get respect,adults make decision what they can live upto and kids are pampered. Thank you