Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi girls!!
My husbands are two brothers so i am lucky of the SIL bliss.But my hubby's elders brother and his wife are my problem.They are nice but at tiems act very strangely.like when they have some work or call us they want all our time but when we call them they are sometime overinvolved in there chores.my manners say that we should respect someone's call.also i respect them and am to nice with tem.but i think they take advantage og this.how should i behave so that it doesnt sound rude and i am also not humilated Sunny replied. From Sunny -

In our IT management, this is called protocol setting in relationships (with clients). Few tips.
1. Depending on how you respond, protocol is set. e.g. If you are very flexible and don't express your pains, other party thinks you are ok with their demands.
2. Once set, it is difficult to change protocol. It needs some out-of-box approach. Sometimes, someone else need to pull you out of mud!
3. Giving feedback is important part of any communication (and thus relationship)
4. Be assertive on things which are non-negotiable for you. That doesn't stop you from being emphathatic.

My advise.
1. Don't act nice when you are in pain. You can express your pains but sensitively, not in argument style.
2. Refuse things which are not so important to you.
3. Develop a \";teachable point of view\";. i.e. communicate your important beliefs and convey those with whom you interact.
4. During casual discussion, make up a story of your pains mocking it on your friends/ neibours and tell that to your BIL and SIL and convey your ideas!
5. Avoid netting each help you provide or take. That's care!
6. Enjoy whatever time you spend with them and show care. When you need help, don't shy to ask for one.

Good luck.
Sunny SDK replied. Why don't you just forget the whole thing and move on. The more we dwell on any issue, the more complicated we make things. This leads to so many other problems,that sometimes is hard to fix....

You say, that BIL and his wife are nice. Then you should not give a lot of importance to their shortcomings. People have bad days or are going thru some emotional or physical problem and may react differently under circumstances which we inturn, analyze and blow the whole thing out of proportion.

So just be happy with your husband and enjoy life. You try to be nice to them always,just for your own conscience . Over time, people DO realize their mistakes and change.


~SDK