Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello everybody
i am new to this site but could see so many friends in the sam situation as i am.Our's was a love marriage against my parents wish but with my hubby's parent's approval.but eventually my parents have also accepted it.after 2 and a half yrs of marriage we had now started getting settle in our respective careers but due to our in laws pressure(who live in india) we have to move from the UK to US to be with my hubby's brother.my problem is that our in laws decide what we have to do with our family ,where we have to stay,how much we have to spend etc.I used to be very nice to them but eventually i have seen there true colours.but to my husband they are never wrong.if at any moment i try to defend myself and prove they are wrong we have a big fight.i am a simple human being but i feel everbody is taking me for granted.my husband loves me but not more than his parents.pls advise me how to act diplomatically so that i am no longer taken for ride and how to make my husband understand that i am right at times!!!!!!!pls help make me wise s replied. what if you try telling your husband , if this thing goes on like this, you will stop working and you want to take a big break and he has to make the living by himslef and then he is free to spend the way his parents think. Or understand your problem. I think then he will slowly understand the problem.But if your relationship is getting worse, then do continue doing this trick. krut replied. talk to him slowly over this, over the interference, over the spending habits. after 3 yrs of my marriage i'm sailing in the same boat as u and believe me life is worse here. i have almost warned him that i shall only give a fiex amt towards the exp if this goes on. u have to keep talking and trying to bring things on track without sounding rude, or without sounding that ur against ur inlaws. all the Best krut replied. talk to him slowly over this, over the interference, over the spending habits. after 3 yrs of my marriage i'm sailing in the same boat as u and believe me life is worse here. i have almost warned him that i shall only give a fiex amt towards the exp if this goes on. u have to keep talking and trying to bring things on track without sounding rude, or without sounding that ur against ur inlaws. all the Best Ads replied. hi i totally uderstand your sitn - i face the same one :)
ritu , your battling a change a loss of identity from your earlier status/ relationships to a new one where you realise its either very patriarhial/matrarchial. worse is you may have not been bornbrought up in such an culture/upbringing.
my sincere suggestion is(itworks in my case) - let go of things which are not a big bother but if its of prime importance to you STIK YOUR GROUND W/O BEING RUDE AND ANTOGINISING YOUR HUSBAND .remeber his condition is precariuos - caught between the devil n deep sea..........
dont ever complain abt ur inlaws to him but do your own thing w/o making a hue n cry abt it ....
belv me thats the best way to live