Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I am 4th month pregnant with my second child and
I live in USA.

My inlaws came stayed for 6 months when i had my
first child. My Father-in-law feels that he did a
huge favor by coming and helping us . Several times he use to say that they came to help us and they did.infact he did not do anything but my MIL
use to cook for us and i use to look after my baby and help her in kitchen .

When ever any topic comes about my mother's side people,then they talk always bad of them sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly.

My Mil is orthodox so she made me stay in a room
for 18 days without touching any house hold things
which i never did whole through my life.

we took them to Las vegas, washington dc and new york etc so many cities and still they think it's
their son who took them to this place and even i don't want them to go i can not do anything about
it.
At last once my MIL said something to me for which i said that I don't like the thing you said to me, so they got angry and they started to pack to go back to India as a threat.
They know that if they leave early before the 6 months people will think i am bad and thats why
they could not stay that long.

My husband requested to made them stay .
Now Is it ok to invite them or not ?
My parents can not come to due to personal
responsibilites they have .
and I am not able to decide whether to call
my inlaws for my second delivery or not .
I am scared that i have to bear them even i don't like the things they talk about or whatever
if i say anything they threat me that they will
go back.
Belive me i tried level best to be a good dil
but in vein they think the Dil can never be a good one and take everything negatively.

Please advise me can i manage without calling any one or i should call them for my delivery.


Thank you
sreya









LA replied. I don't see wy your husband can't help you through your delivery.

I would prefer my parents with me but if there were reasons that prevented them, I would rely on my husband.

I wouldn't invite your in laws. You don't need that stress during pregnancy but that is up to you and your husband to decide. But pls, try to do what is best for you, your husband and the baby, not just for your husband. xyz replied. HiSreya,
Post your message at these message boards for more responses.

http://www.indiaparenting.com/boards/index_board.cgi?table_name=dis_joint_family

http://www.indiaparenting.com/boards/index_board.cgi?table_name=dis_role_inlaws

Good luck
xyz SS replied. Hi Sreya,

Don't Call Your In-laws, Period.

Your story sounds like mine. Taking mental stress is alot worse than physical.

SS Neha replied. Hi Sreya,
If i were you i wouldn't invite them!!! You don't need the stress having a baby is already stressful enough. If your husband is willing to take your side and tell his parents that you make the rules, then they can come. (I know the husband are completely different person when his parents come - mine is!)
It would be better for you to get a friend to help out instead your in laws. Best of Luck
I hope everything works out for you!