Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi

I am a 22 year old girl having a relationship with a guy whose 26 yrs old. hes the sweetest most caring guy i have ever seen. hes very considerate and patient towards all my needs and wants. he tries as much as he can to accomodate my needs even if it means he has to sacrifice his time, energy etc. for e.g. he had come one whole day shopping just for me to buy work clothes for my new job. but the problem is he is a north indian hindu, and i am a south indian christian. he belongs to a typical conservative hindu family and he wants to live with his parents etc. i am very religous and therefore i dont know how i will be able to adjust to that kind of hindu conservative lifestyle with his parents, if i can be a perfect bahu. his parents seem to be very loivng and caring towards my bf, and he has every right to make wtever decisions he wants. they dont seem like the interfering bad in-laws. but he wants to move to india after a few yrs, cos he has no relatives here and doesnt like life in the US, whereas my whole family is here. i dunno wat to do. i dunno if i should give up such a great guy out of fear of a different culture and people i am not used to, and moving back to india. he also seems conservative in some other things such as he wont do any household chores etc, as he feels its a womans duty. he initially didnt want his wife to work, but he has opened up his mind about it, n he feels he was wrong in that regard. so i dont know wat to do. can somebody please help me from ur own experiences as to wat do abt my relationship. are all the things hes doing for me till now just cos of the initial phases of our relationship? will he change after a few yrs of marriage, kids, job frustration etc? he is very sweet to his parents even tho hes been with them for 26 yrs. sometimes it seems to me that thats just his personlity to be so unselfish, and therefore hell be the same to me too. but im not sure, what do u think?me n my bro have occasional arguments with our parents n disagreements abt some things.. but he n his dad seem so compatible. is that just a north indian thing? my parents dont care if my brothers wife knows cooking or anything as long as shes sweet to them. but my bf's parents n bf want his wife to cook everything three times a day n have that kind of mentality. will that create probs later on? and to add to that the different religions we have? Rashmi replied. He expects you to cook 3 meals a day and do all the housework because he feels it is the woman's duty!!!

Run from this guy now, when u can dear before it is too late.

Of course he seems so sweet and great. That is because he is courting you.

You are south indian. He is north indian. You are a devout Christian. He is a hindu. The differences are too great. I am sorry I am being so blunt but marraige is going to be a disaster for both of you. When 2 people are in love it always seems to them that love can surmount any mountain....it usually takes just a day or 2 after marraige to see everything change. Trust me on this.

(Swati asks some very valid questions too. I think his parents are going to flip out if they find out their son wants to marry a south indian Christian) gita replied. I have heard that if hindu marries a Christian, he/she will be forcibly converted to christinaity. Is this correct? swati replied. If u r having second thots abt this guy..or you're not sure then u should think b4 u marry this guy. First of all, do his parents know abt u? Have u ever asked him as to what their reaction would b if they knew? Is it acceptable in his family to marry on their own? How would they take u since u r from a diff religion? Once the parents come into picture many guys change - they r different in front of parents and wives. This guy seems conservative - he wants wife to cook, not work plus move to india? And, u dont know if u'd have to change religion. why doesnt he want to stay back in US? r u willing to compromise so much. do u belive he'd standup for u against his parents? And, remember family seems nice b4 marriage and its only after u get married u c differences. Just think abt all these Qs in your mind and take it from there. U seem very smart to think abt all this b4 making any commitments. I am sure u will handle this situation well.
Keep us posted!